Hello my supporters and onlookers!! I haven't given up. In my case, the preparation stage prior to implementing a full scale action plan takes a lot of time. Since I am still in recovery from a car accident last year and having a traumatic brain injury and pain to boot, I can only chip away at so much each day. I am not allowing myself to log in every day to journal or use the tools because it consumes so much of my cognitive energy. It was taking me too long before to re-energize and to redirect my focus to other priorities, while still keeping up with my Spark tools and page. Every Body is different, I know ... but so is every brain.
I know it could sound silly or even a cop-out, but unless you've had a similar experience or work with people with a TBI, it might be difficult to understand how it's like for me. This is my own journey and thus, I must work at it by my own pace so that I don't end up self-sabotaging by giving up.
It's taking awhile to get my doctors on the same page, but it's coming along. I have a dietitian now, and it appears I'm a good candidate for the Lap Band. However, I still have to meet with my GI doctor, as I have a pre-malignant condition called Barrett's Esophagus, which is a rare type of the most severe GERD you can get. So I have to get his blessings that the procedure would NOT likely contribute to worsening of my esophageal condition. I am meeting regularly now with a therapist for cognitive retraining and also for physical therapy. I am making huge progress with huge piles of paperwork that needs to be organized, especially some legal paperwork which needs to be found and sent to my attorney. I am making space in my home for my Total Gym, an aerobic area (for aerobics, stabilization exercises, and dancing with my therapy balls) and other exercise equipment. And I've been juggling this while tending to a sick child and attending to other roadblocks and distractions, which I try to resolve as effectively and efficiently as possible so I can get back to the organization project. Distractions can be a day long or two day long distraction to me, then I need to re-energize my brain, which takes between 1/2 day to a couple days time off from the entire world. This includes time off from doing chores, going to appointments, etc. Because if I don't, my brain goes into a complete shut down for days or even weeks at a time, often with incapacitating post-concussion headaches because I was doing too much for days on end. Compared to my functioning state prior to my accident, my speed with getting things done is not just slow ... it's pathetically slow. I mean, for the time it will take me to organize and file 7 medium boxes of paperwork and moving around some furniture to free up room, most of you could remodel your kitchen and slap a couple coats of paint to the exterior of your home ... including trim. :P
Organization in my home environment is necessary so that I have my action plan ready to go and where I can be online more regularly. This will take me a few more weeks. Please know that I haven't given up. I am happy with the supporters I made here, and I also signed up for some groups with Yahoo Meet Ups. So I am planning to have as much balance as possible in my life when my action plan is ready to push forward. In a way, I am already working my action steps partially, only because I'm practicing awareness of my food intake and choices, but I just haven't fully committed to it yet.
I will post again in my blog sometime next month. October 19th is my birthday, and right now, it looks like a reasonable date that I'll be done with organizing my environment where it just needs maintenance and doctor collaboration started (with all my main docs). I hope many of you will be around when I am back. Thanks for reading my 'sharing'.