In a relationship - what Honesty means to me.
Thursday, September 24, 2009
Honesty is almost synonyms with respect. The cornerstone of communication.
Partnership - You aren't always honest with yourself but your working on it. You say what you think you have to say and tell white lies (there is no such thing). You think there are things you could learn to live with about each other without discussing simply because "its the right thing to do"
Married - The center point of communication to speak without being judged to be able to speak your mind and have the respect to not stomp on each other.
Separated - Honesty comes at the expensive of playing nice and not wanting to fight.
Divorced - Looking back at yourself and being honest. This is a hard thing to do.
Being honest is like being pregnant, or alive. You either are, or you’re not. There is no half way, no mostly, about any of those things. In marriage, partners must learn to become completely honest with each other if they are to achieve true intimacy.
Here’s a little quiz. Do you, or have you, shared the following information with your spouse? Do you know the same sorts of things about him or her in return?
Your past. Does your mate know all there is to know about: former lovers, friends, occupations, dreams, mistakes, achievements, failures?
Your feelings. How do you feel about the events of your life? Especially your reactions to the things that your mate does? How do you feel about the life you have created together?
Today. What are your plans for the day? Who will you see, what will you talk about, where will you go, when will you be home, how can you be reached?
Tomorrow. What are your hopes and dreams and plans? What are your goals?
Anything left unasked above. Does your spouse know as much as you do about yourself?
Well now, I can just see you shaking your heads in disbelief. He must be crazy to think that I would share my past failures, or the fact that my spouse’s job really annoys me. Talking about those things would just cause a fight to end all fights.
But is it the honesty that causes the argument, or is it the things you have been hiding? Is it speaking the truth, or is it the manner in which you deliver the message? Which brings us to a couple of points that need to be touched upon. First, how well do you handle your spouse’s honesty? Do you become upset, yell, threaten, or criticize when your partner shares difficult information? If so, then you are fostering dishonesty in your marriage.