MSSUNBUG

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Way I'm Being Good to Me #5: FOCUSNG ON WHAT'S GOOD AND POSITIVE

Monday, September 21, 2009

I come from a family that's notoriously pessimistic. When and if something positive happens, we prefer to be pleasantly surprised (rather than to COUNT on something good happening and being disappointed). What I've noticed is that this tends to create a pattern for me of focusing on the BAD or the NEGATIVE that could possibly happen--or has happened, or is happening--rather than what is good and positive. So the fifth thing I'd like to do to be good to me is to spend a lot more time focused on what's good and positive.

There's a dozen ways this one could apply to my life presently. Like... I stepped outside today and was so wonderfully surprised to find it warm, clear, and lightly breezy. It's one of those absolutely perfect early fall days, cool and crisp in the morning and evening, warm and lovely in the afternoon. And for the fourth or fifth time in the past week or two, I thought in my head how lovely it would be to go down to my favorite walking trail and enjoy the day. Except, I didn't. I caught myself today thinking, "It's so temporary anyway, why bother?" So because it's not 78 degrees and sunny and breezy everyday, I should not go outside and enjoy it when it IS? WTH? How warped is THAT thinking??

And I'm so prone to focus on friendships that are less than stellar for me, on people who are inconsistent, who take advantage of me, and who are even actually mean to me. Meanwhile, I have this other segment of friends who are so good to me, available for me, great cheerleaders, love and support me. But I spend so little time with any of them because I'm too focused on those relationships that are less than stellar. By focusing on the relationships that are not so good, I shut myself off from the relationships that ARE good, and I virtually lock myself into a holding pattern with the not-so-good.

And I so often mull over everything I'm doing "wrong." Like, I've dieted at least fifteen times and failed to keep any weight off. Or I ate too much over the weekend. Or I'm not doing as much schoolwork as I should be doing. I overlook that despite the failed attempts at dieting, I'm STILL HERE and still puzzling things through... And despite the fact I ate more than I wanted this weekend, I cooked at least 50% more meals at home this past week, and I spent the weekend more active than I've been in weeks.... And I may not be as far along as I'd hoped by now with my schoolwork, but I've taken my education REALLY far--and have all the time I need to finish things up. When I focus on the things that are GOOD, I feel more motivated, energized, and at peace. So why not aim to get a little more of that going?

So my goal for now is that every day that I can catch myself focusing on what's bad, I might try to look instead for what's good and positive and obsess over THAT (lol). I figure if I can do that even just once a day--or every other day even--I'm moving in the right direction.

And on that note, rather than throw my hands up because I know I'll be outside of my calorie range anyway, and because the day is "just about over," (it's not) I think I'll go outside and take that walk on the trail. :-)

And BTW, that low-fat macaroni and cheese recipe is to die for. Would never know it was missing all the fat. I'll be sure to post it here soon for anyone who's got that craving. The cooler weather is approaching, and what better time than that to enjoy a nice, FILLING alternative to the world's best comfort food??

My best to all! xo
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • ZAEZAE
    Thanks for the insightful blog! You keep winning this war in your head and it's going to translate into less and less of you physically with very little effort.

    Nice work! Some great advice I could use to take myself. :-)

    Amy
    3711 days ago
  • KLAD_COCKERS
    Oooh, I NEED that low fat mac 'n cheese recipe please! That's my all-time favourite meal.

    When I was in my first year of university, one of my friends told me that she wasn't going to hang out with me anymore, because I was just too negative. She said she didn't want to be around my bad energy all the time. That was the wake-up call I needed, and other than on super bad days, I try to find the good in every situation. I admit, sometimes it's an awful lot easier than other times, but I make an effort.

    You're doing so many great things for yourself - I truly believe that you WILL succeed this time, just based on your mindset!
    3712 days ago
  • SOPHIEMAE2007
    Please post the mac and cheese recipe!

    I can totally relate to what you are saying about focusing on the bad or what could happen that is bad, negative, etc instead of the good and happy things. I have done that so much that it is hard to get out of that way of thinking. I am doing better though. These past couple of months have been like that. One step forward and 10 back. I feel like I will never get ahead. Hopefully, that will be turning around now. I too have also been in bad relationships and don't know how I seem to pick out the same people. Well next time, I am not going to let that happen. As soon as I see a sign telling me that isn't right, I'm out of there!

    You are doing great!! WooHoo!!


    3712 days ago
  • MEROBACK
    The past is just what it is PAST leave it there and step into the NOW

    "Live for Today for Yesterday is gone and Tomorrow is coming"
    3712 days ago
  • HOLLY1949
    I love Mac & Cheese so I am looking forward to you sharing that recipe!

    You have your head thinking in the right direction and I am sure your body will follow. You can do it!

    I don't know if you are single or married. I have been single for more years in total than I was married. I am divorced now. Anyway, I re-call a saying that stuck with me "Don't spend all your time with Mr. Wrong, or you will not have the time to find Mr. Right".....thought I would pass that on to you. Also , I like the one "You can't choose your family, but you can choose your friends!" I say Woo Hoo! to surrounding yourself with positive people and making a effort to be more positive yourself. Good for you! Holly




    3712 days ago
  • SURENDERISNOTME
    You are on the right track with trying to get the positive thinking working for you. Keep it up. Remember we are always here for you.

    Debbie
    3712 days ago
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