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Haven't Seen Your Face for a While

Wednesday, September 16, 2009

I got together with another friend yesterday. This was to mainly hang out, plus there was a new little cafe near her apartment that is kind of a wheatgrass-y kind of spot, so we figured we'd try it. She works as a personal trainer/in-home fitness instructor so she is well-versed in what I'm doing and is very supportive. The title of today's song refers to her company.

We walked over to the cafe and it turned out to be closed. Peeking in the windows revealed a good-looking spot, what Hemingway called "a clean, well-lighted place". Maybe next time.

So instead we walked, and we went out to Newtonville, which is a haul. And we talked. I mentioned that I don't have any sort of a work-style Winter coat. I've got a trench coat but it has no liner. Plus I've got a Winter jacket. But I don't have anything I can possibly wear with a skirt once the temperature really, really dips. Her suggestion was to try something vintage. Plus we were going in the right direction, so we walked to Second Time Around in Newton.

This is Newton, there is money. Hence any second-hand clothing store was bound to have good stuff. Plus it's just fun. After having seen her place, I realized she's into old-fashioned stuff. A bonus: it was a beautiful day for a walk.

We walked.

And walked.

And I knew we were getting a lot of walking in but it wasn't until just now, when I checked the mileage. It is close to (keep in mind this is by automobile directions and not on foot) 3 miles.

Each way.

I'll get to how I feel in a moment. But first! Vintage stuff!

Yes, there was a yellow fringed jacket from the 70s, perhaps earlier. There were Asian-inspired gowns. Interesting purses. Hats! We went in the back and looked at coats. There were two that caught her eye. The first probably would have fit me; she was swimming in it. But I decided I wasn't too interested in the colors. It would have been a good coat for her, except for the size. The other coat, though? Oh, man. Calvin Klein, never worn, originally 400 smackers. But it was just stunning on her. But, eh, even vintage it was serious ka-ching. And she wasn't even the one who needed a coat!

I didn't see a coat I liked that would have fit me. But ...

I backed up into a rack. I felt something fluffy. It was soft. I turned. It was teal. Oh, lovely.

A teal cardigan. Fits a tad small but will be perfect soon.

Cashmere, thank you very much.


No, wait.

This is vintage. There was a price for after a certain date: $22.50.

But the date was October. Hmm.

No, wait.

October of 2008.

I went to the cashier. $55, she said, pointing to the tag and showing me that the lower price date had not yet come to pass.

Er, no, see? It's 2008, not 2009.

Well, I'll be.

She gave it to me for $20.

I feel like I got away with Grand Larceny.

We walked back to my friend's place via a different route. This was up the world's biggest hill.

And I kept up! I was huffing a bit, and speech was a tad labored (isn't that the so-called fat-burning zone anyway? It's all good), but holy cannolli she's a personal freakin' trainer!

You gotta understand, two years ago I was working for a company, lovely people (where my friend from my last shopping trip/makeover was my boss, actually) and one day we decided to go walking around a track at a neighboring school. And that day, I could not walk far enough to get TO the track, let alone walk around it.

And now I'm keeping up with my friend the trainer.

That got me thinking.

Why do we make friends? How do we do it? And how do we sustain those relationships? And why?

Of course we make friends in order to form companionships. We do it all sorts of ways, including being thrown together for work or school, or actively getting into situations (e. g. volunteer work), or becoming accustomed to people by seeing them a lot (say, at the gym). We might even actively go out and shake hands with anyone we see, trying to make friends. Sustaining is effort, it's getting together, it's calling and it's writing and it's paying attention.

But, ultimately, why do we KEEP friends?

I think the trick is to be friends with people who can benefit you in some way. I don't mean in a mercenary sense, e. g., what have you done for me lately? I also don't mean that you should drop people who the going is tough. What I am saying is, cultivate relationships that are beneficial. Give yourself those kinds of goodies -- they are as sustaining, if not more, than food goodies. Make your memories with them.

It's called a memory BANK for a reason. It's not just an array of choice experiences; it's also, literally, a bank. As in, you make deposits and you make withdrawals. Deposit good experiences. Withdraw them when you're feeling lonely or down.

Yesterday, I didn't just score a great sweater.

I also scored a great memory.

A great deposit was made yesterday.

Thanks, D___.

PS Next time - I really need to buy a coat somewhere! But I gotta add, after 6 miles plus of walking yesterday, my calves and knees are barking a bit. But I'll live. :)
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    Teal is so pretty... and heavenly cashmere. Won't that be a great way to greet Fall weather?!

    Love your thoughts on friendship. I've learned that give-give is the most rewarding, sustaining, and caring way to have a positive and loving relationship.

    Nice blog!

    4080 days ago
    What a great friendship insight. Not only a good reflection but also a great day.
    4087 days ago
    What a great day both in your find and in memories!
    4089 days ago
  • no profile photo CD5594611
    Interesting day. When I delivered mail in Brookline there was a second hand shop on Havard St I used to pass. Transferred out in 02 but it should be there. Might find your coat there.
    4089 days ago
    Sounds like an awesome day. We could all use a little more of the relationship aspect of life. I so need to work on that.

    Your walk sounds amazing. I walk a lot but nothing near what you do. No wonder you top the fitness minutes every week. Good for you!
    4090 days ago
    Good for you for nurturing a friendship. And congrats on the 6 mile walk!
    4090 days ago
    Loved it. I think you made a smart choice not to buy the coat that did not appeal to you because of the colors. I was not so smart as you once and the coat went to Good Will.

    True confession time. I don't even know a personal trainer and would be afraid to! I am amazed and inspired by what you tell us about what your limitations used to be. Jespah, you are truly someone I think about when I feel like giving up or when I lose hope. Thanks for sharing this.
    4090 days ago
  • JURI62
    This is awesome. What a great day. I've got to start thinking vintage!
    4090 days ago
    Wow, I very very much enjoyed your blog. It was interesting and you have a great writing style / technique. Isn't it really neat to see how far you've come - as in noting one walk you took to this one where you walked 6 miles RT and kept up with the trainer. That's the yardstick that really means a lot on top of how you look and feel. Way to go!
    4090 days ago
    Great experience all around!
    4090 days ago
  • no profile photo CD4749243
    Here's to grand larceny! As to friends, I have lots to say on the subject. Maybe a blog subject for another day. Right now I have the pre-presentation flutters and must do something to calm down.

    4090 days ago
    Sounds like you had a great time! And got gobs of excersise in too, what a bonus. Keep up the good work!
    4090 days ago
    Sounds like an interesting day!

    4090 days ago
    What you call deposits I simply call it making memories. It sounds like a great day.And the walking was amazing.You are such an inspiration. emoticon
    4090 days ago
    What a great day you had - and it is one for the memory banks. We all make friends with many people for different reasons, and we fulfill needs in each other, hopefully! One of my best friends can make me laugh no matter how tough things get, but she is there for me through anything life throws at me. I have other friends like that, but I also have some friends that I really do love and enjoy, but we just have not gotten to that deeper level. Sometimes you do eventually, sometimes not, but the true key is to give and receive from the relationship.

    4090 days ago
    I love consignment shopping and finding that oh so perfect steal! Good for you on your bargain. Even better for your physical achievement. And humongous Kudos for your friendship and realizing what is really important - relationships! emoticon
    4090 days ago
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