the weirdest things...
Tuesday, September 15, 2009
...set me off.
I'm in burlesque class, which I love. I love the instructor, I love the diversity, I love that I am finally doing something I've long talked about. We were warming up. Our warm-ups also involve some flexibility exercises and strength. I actually got teary during our squats and side stretches. These are things that used to be so much easier for me. I could do squats with pretty serious weights, and I am actually rather flexible. However, holding my arms out while holding a plie, and extending over into a stretch was so darn difficult tonight. all the strength and balance I worked so hard for, is now difficult. I hate that basic moves make me hurt. Seriously, it's ridiculous. My shoulders and neck (particularly the right side) are absolutely killing me. I just had this stupid moment of frustration, which then madde me more frustrated for being frustrated about something that in the grand scheme of things is so minor. There are plenty of people dealing with worse things. I think maybe if I at least had some idea of what I was dealing with , it would make it easier...but since I don't, I just need to keep on.
I pulled it together. I mean, being the girl who bursts into tears at a fun class isn't really the reputation I want to establish. I enjoyed the rest of the class. I just am really struggling to keep being positive and optimistic that I can continue on the path to my goal, when I hit stumbling blocks so often. I think the universe must be either testing me, or trying to tell me something. I just can't seem to figure out what it is. So I am trying not to dwell. Really, really trying.
On the bright side, we covered struts, and I'm actually pretty good at the drag. (Not the kind that requires tucking) The instructor has the most amazing legs I have ever seen in real life. Beautiful, strong muscles. Great inspiration there.
Thanks for letting me whine kids. I promise that one day this blog will get back to that happy, kick-ass girl from not-so-very long ago. All your support and your amazing inspirational stories are helping me so much.