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I'm Pretty Sure the Laws of Physics Shifted

Tuesday, September 08, 2009

Ignorance is bliss. It's cliche cuz it's true. Let me tell you, had I known what I was getting into, I would have run away. I'd have been well prepared as I was wearing my sneakers and feeling all perky.

I took a class at my gym tonight called Bodypump. Yes, I knew that it involved weights and yes, I knew it was 60 minutes long. My first hint of unease came when I watched my classmates start queuing up outside the door with me. These people were BUFF, not just fit and toned, but seriously ripped. Not one to be intimidated, I just thought to myself, "Hey look at them, I must be in the right place!"

As we went in, people started rushing to the shelfs on the walls for various bits of equipment: A step, a mat, a bar and weights - the circle kind that go on the end of the bar. Whoah, circle weight thingys?!!? I envisioned 5lb dumbbells. This is when I really started to grow concerned about my head and the proverbial water. I don't even know what those weights are called, much less what to do with them...Thankfully the buff and beautiful were also kind to the pudgy lost girl and showed me what I needed and how to use it.

The following hour was the most intense weight lifting routine I have EVER experienced. Heck, it was the most intense workout of any kind I've ever experienced. It was 100% total body. I was shaking when I walked out of that room, as in barely able to walk, weak-limbed. I'd have crawled to the locker room, but I think the energy required to lower my body to the floor would have been just the expenditure too much and I wouldn't have made it down the hall.

I'm a little ticked off at gravity right now. It's supposed to remain constant. I count on the fact that it never changes, but I'm fairly positive it did tonight. I'm positive that if I could have weighed just my arm, the scale would have said 200lbs. And I'm completely sure that my book bag wasn't that heavy when I arrived at the gym...

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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • BIGOLEDIVA
    (droll grin) If you think the weight thingy's are evil WAIT until you meet a body chemical SATAN personally invented! it'll show up tomorrow or the day after and is called "lactic acid" All I can say is "I hope HELL has a super HAWT place for SATAN for dreaming THAT up..I honestly believe it is one of his most EVIL creations! LOL

    But the good news is...he only made a limited amount! So - once you work it out of your muscles...you be all revved up and ready to go...THEN you can admire the nice view of those um...BUFF backsides(male I hope!) In your bodypump class!(wink wink) mwwaahhh huuuaaaa haaaaa! ( that was supposed to be a perverted audial leer..not quite sure if it came out like I expected!) emoticon
    3914 days ago
  • IMCONFESSIN
    Great job, Bodypumper!

    Your blog got me thinking, so I looked up how much I would weigh on the moon. Only 41 lbs, supposedly. However, I'd be clocking in on Jupiter at almost 600 lbs.
    3917 days ago
  • BESTLIFE79
    HAHA! I just started a weight lifting program that is pretty intense, also, so I TOTALLY understand this. Grear blog, BTW!!! LOL
    3917 days ago
  • DREMARGRL
    emoticon BLOG, BABY! This was so good for you to challenge yourself. I'm proud that you lasted the whole class. Are you going back for more....that is the question????? GO, GIRL, GO!! You can do it!
    3917 days ago
  • DNDUPREE
    Sweet jebus woman! Go you!!!! I hope you can life your arms and legs today though and that getting out of bed wasn't the most horrible thing ever :S Note to self - if taking a fitness class run away if disk weights are included! lol
    3918 days ago
  • NUTTE1
    I bow to thee!!
    3918 days ago
  • TRUSTYRUSS
    Top Blog, I had a mega chuckle, you did a great thing, so many would have walked, good for you !!!

    I know the "arm thing", whe I was i the Air Force, our basic training had us doing 500+ pushups, in the snow, whilst jogging 5 miles,at the end I simply could not raise my arms to wash my hair !!

    You have started to crack the process, make sure you keep it up,

    TOP TIP !!!

    if you tie your water bottle to helium balloons, you water will be at a nice height, and you only have to use your lips to swig !!


    emoticon emoticon emoticon

    Well done, and damn funny blog !
    3918 days ago
  • PAULDODO
    Hahaha- those round weight thingies.... My Gym sadist has me shrugging whilst holding a 10kg thingy in each hand, as part of a weights regime! 'I'll know when you're not practising, cos you'll sneer on lifting' he crows..... and it's true- my top lip curls, Elvis style, with the effort, but less so now.
    Am I buff? Sorry, the mere effort of laughing hurts right now.... emoticon

    Go back, Jess, have fun, get fit- buff is soooo overrated...!

    P
    X
    3918 days ago
  • FLY0NTHEWAL1
    It kicked your butt but you lived to tell about it! That means you can do it again! Good job, you really accomplished something worthwhile. :-)

    And those ripped people taking that class with you... well, they weren't always that ripped. They started on their journey before you started yours, that's the only difference.

    Congratulations!
    3918 days ago
  • KIERA09
    Lord, sounds like you need an easy day tomorrow. 'Cause if I read you right, EVERYTHING is gonna hurt!

    Oh no, didn't you know, gravity changes. It makes you weigh in a bit higher, just to make you feel a bit lower. Him and the scale team up sometimes. To get back at them, you should remind yourself, that you are hella buff know, and they don't know jack about muscle weight.


    3918 days ago
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