Whining When I Really Shouldn't
Tuesday, September 01, 2009
I drive due East for 20 minutes four mornings a week to get to work. It's that time of year that the sun is at exactly the most painful point in the sky at the time I'm commuting. I need to find out if retinal damage is cumulative. Combine my general morning surliness with eye searing ouchies and you can just imagine the full on grump I was sporting by the time I made it to my desk. I don't suffer pain stoically.
I have very little actual work to do at work. Seriously, without exaggeration, on average I have 20 minutes of work to do each day this time of year. Most people I share this with, tell me they'd love to trade. What those same people don't understand that it is incredibly stressful to fill 8 hours with nothing. Or hey, maybe they would enjoy it, how do I know? I surely do NOT. Please don't misunderstand I AM grateful to have a job in this crap economy, I just selfishly wish it were a BETTER job....
I've had a job consistently since I was 15 years old with the exception of six months. One month was when I was 21 years old and moved from Pennsylvania to California and took some time to get acclimated. Three months after my son was born, I had a C-section and needed to physically recover and the other two months were when I moved from California to Pennsylvania to get myself and the mini man situated. In fact, thinking back on it, I've spent more time working two or more jobs than I have just one. I'm just accustomed to working and I like it. I feel accomplished and productive. I require mental stimulation and regular human contact to stay sane. I get very little where I work now.
I have my own perfectly lovely office. On average I interact with four people in person. The security guard, the nurse because she very graciously shares her water cooler with me, the woman in the cafeteria from whom I purchase my Styrofoam bowl for my breakfast, and the woman in HR who I pass to get to my office. I pray for my phone to ring or someone to have a problem just so I have something to do. I'm pretty much starved for conversation or any thought provocation.
Fortunately, I'm particularly gifted at entertaining myself and so have (thus far) held on to my wits. I will admit that some days it's more of a struggle than others, but I manage. Last night my SO brought up moving to a bigger house (again) and even convinced me to look online at real estate in our area. I'm resistant to the idea for multiple reasons: 1. I love my neighborhood. 2. I live in the best public school district in the county. 3. I LOATHE moving.
So I had food for thought today. My SO swears we need a bigger house. I'm still undecided. Maybe we need less stuff? I started to make a list of things we could do without and possible ideas for better organizing the things we do need/want to keep. In the midst of this list, ok so really the beginning of the list, I got a bit distracted and started thinking about things in general I could do without.
Because I still had dots dancing across my vision from the commute and the resultant violent headache, I wasn't in a great mood when I made my list.
The List of Things I Can Do Without is a blog for another day, probably tomorrow's in fact. Because, yes I'm so anal that I keep random lists in a specific notebook for later perusal, I will be able to access that list again quite easily.