KNITTINGFROG
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Overwhelmed and under-motivated...

Tuesday, September 01, 2009

Well, I guess it was going to happen at some point...the hot weather and the sudden lack of car have meant that shopping is not easy anymore (cycling up a 17% hill in the heat with stuffed backpack and paniers...) and that exercise has become a chore rather than an invigorating experience. Add to that the lack of fibre linked to the absence of fibre-loaded cereal for breakfast, and there you have it, a small disaster in the making.

Strangely I have also come to conclude that the factor that precipitated my fall was to be named 'Done Girl of the Day'. Somehow the title made me feel like a total fraud, because there are still so many areas in my life where I am not so DONE.

And I need a holiday, a real one, one where I get looked after and only have to focus on enjoying the day...

And I need a job, to afford aforementioned holiday...

and I have to stop procrastinating

and

and

and...well that's it I guess.

I have struggled to keep up with SP, and the gazillion emails in my inbox, and getting back into the groove, and worst of all, I have been eaten by guilt over not being a good spark friend anymore, about not checking up on people the way I use to, the way I feel I should.

Instead I have been watching my chilies grow and trying (but not managing) to not eat everything in sight.



I guess I am not sleeping enough, and my body compensates by thinking sweet sugary thoughts.

This week we have BF's mum staying over for 5 days, and I can't quite master the energy to get everything done, to get my exercise in and to think of healthy fibre-rich meals to be had.

Now if you'll excuse me, I have some chilies to water, and some SP friends to catch up with, but I'll be back soon!



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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • CODEMAULER
    Start small and stick to what makes you happy. I know you can find your center and make things work for you. Be good to yourself and see what each day has to offer.

    ~ Trish
    3996 days ago
  • SKYINSTRASBOURG
    Love the chili pics. I hope you don't forget who you are becoming healthy for. I think you said it was for *you*. And that is the only thing that matters. You are such a great motivator...keep some of that goodness for yourself! You deserve it most of all!
    3998 days ago
  • no profile photo ALEMAPO
    Hi! I got suddenly overwhelmed and it was because of birthday posts! Don't get me wrong - I love them but I felt like I couldn't keep up. Take a deep breath, take a break, enjoy your company and don't beat yourself up about it. We all have to have a break once in awhile! (Beautiful pictures by the way!)
    emoticon
    3998 days ago

    Comment edited on: 9/2/2009 11:42:58 PM
  • BIGOLEDIVA
    poor thing...I hope it gets better!
    3999 days ago
  • THREADBENDER
    Ahhh....there's an old saying.."Don't should on yourself." Look at this period as a kind of dormancy needed for growth to come soon. Geeze...you don't expect that little chili to produce all the time.

    And don't downplay the stress of the BF's mum's visit. That one thing would be the stressor that sends me over the edge.

    Keeping up with Spark friends comes way low on the priority list from taking care of yourself. emoticon
    3999 days ago
  • SLARTYB
    If you cared enough to write this blog then hopefully it shows that deep down you still feel committed....
    3999 days ago
  • no profile photo CD2260868
    i'm still focused on willing your chilies to grow! HA!!
    it's a bump in the road, my dear friend!
    great friends don't do things because they have to, we don't hold eachother to standards or checklists. no one is counting how many times you leave a spark message or send goodies, we all just care that you're ok, hitting your goals and letting things off your chest. we all love your blogs, you're hilarious.
    AND let's not forget - the internetzzzz- sparkpeople is such a great forum because it is ONLINE. sometimes i dreaded going to weight watchers meetings because i was in an awful mood. but not here, i can have a bad day and people can choose to read my blog or not read it and i still get to vent. i can then delete my nasty blog if i want to. :) hehhehe
    take care, KNITTINGFROG!
    Grow, chilies, grow!!
    michelle
    3999 days ago
  • SAM60SUMTHINK
    You have a lot going on in your life, so I have one word for you and hope you'll take it to heart:

    Simplify.

    Be NICE to yourself!
    Don't let SP become a burden; ENJOY your journey!

    Feel free to send me a SparkMail anytime. Maybe I can help.
    3999 days ago
  • KERRYMONIQUE
    Hey Girlie - no worries! emoticon We all have ups and downs on this roller coaster called life. I agree that the "fake it till you make it" can be a helpful mentality. Sometimes we just have to go through the motions... but, having said that - I think you are down-playing your progress. Don't beat yourself up - trust me, it doesn't help. Just do the best that you can and realize that your "best" will fluctuate - everyone's does emoticon

    All your SP friends are here for you whenever you need us.

    emoticon
    4000 days ago
  • NEENEE_BEANZ
    I have to tell you this... You aren't perfect... There, now that you know, you can move on without beating yourself up anymore... emoticon

    Some Done Girls take a Spark Vacation... Sometimes we need to do that... Just take care of ourself for a little while before we can dote and encourage others. Then we are refreshed and can move on.

    By the way - DGOTD isn't because you were perfect. You don't have to fullfil a ton of obligatory emails and updates just to ge nominated. You were chosen because your friends (us Donies) love and appreciate all you have done.

    Summer can be a big de-motivator, especially if it is hot and to difficult to do anything outside (I speak from experience). Life in general can be a big de-motivator (too much to do that I don't know where to start). The only thing I can recommend is "Fake it, 'till you make it". Sometimes we have to convince ourselves that we can do something even when we don't really believe it. Additionally, blogging like this will allow you to borrow other's belief in you until you are ready yourself.

    Just know that we are here for you when you need us. emoticon
    4000 days ago
  • no profile photo CD2980093
    Not everyone can keep up with everything going on SparkPeople or even the Done Girls team all the time. Don't let it get you down, and if you want to respond to those that sent you congratulations during that time, create a new topic with a title of Wanted to thank those who sent msgs when I was DGOTD. Everyone will understand! With the internet, most of us definitely understand that not everyone has the time and energy to respond to everything. :)

    And for the rest, remember your victories and the benefits of what you have been doing, that should help some to mitigate the demotivation.

    emoticon
    4000 days ago
  • GIRLHALFFULL
    I'm pretty certain we all know how difficult it can be keeping up with one another here at SP. That of course, does not mean we don't care and it certainly does not mean you should feel you are neglecting your friends.

    That being said... things have been tough here as well and as much as I want to try and look at the good or possible good in future outcomes, I still stress and worry. I'm trying hard not to, but I know how difficult it can be when you hit a mindset and feel out of sorts. Please don't give up and do what you need to do to find that inner spirit and strength.

    Lastly... a quote for you...

    Many of life's failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up. ~Thomas Edison


    Spark love your way emoticon
    4000 days ago

    Comment edited on: 9/1/2009 3:35:23 PM
  • ADDISADDICT
    Hang in there! I ditto everyone's comments. Sending happy thoughts your way ... (((hugs)))
    emoticon
    4000 days ago
  • MSLZZY
    Life happens! Never apologize for getting behind on emails and blogs! It is not always possible to do everything. Prioritize your life, your meals, your health. SP will be here whenever
    you check in. Friends understand the normal days and the days when sanity can be in sort supply. We all have demands for our time. Pick your battles wisely.
    Take care, write when you can, eat well, drink your water, exercise properly and get some sleep! emoticon
    4000 days ago
  • BIANCAFOX
    good luck
    4000 days ago
  • WINGSOFCHANGE
    Hi,
    There are good days and NOT so good days. Please don't be hard on yourself for being less than perfect, because you have plenty of company. All we can do is try to do our best on any given day. Be kind to yourself and I hope that you find some joy in your day.
    emoticon
    4000 days ago
  • KARVY09
    Big hugs to you! You're NOT a fraud, just a person with ups and downs like the rest of the world! And DONE girls are not complete successes either; the done just signifies a willingness to work on the things we aren't happy about.
    emoticon

    It's okay to hate to exercise in the heat. Keep up with the Wii exercise when you can and try going out early in the morning or at night.

    Also, know that you won't be unemployed forever, no matter how frustrating and long this period is. Sending fuzzy thoughts your way!
    emoticon
    4000 days ago
  • 8MORE2GO1
    I went though the demotivation problem last month and trying to get back in to it now. Good luck!!!
    4000 days ago
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