When do you say enough is enough....

Friday, August 21, 2009

I dont know if it is just a bad day or if this has been building for a while, but how do you know when to say, "I have had enough of this". I have never been a really good dealer with change.. when I get a job I stay there until they close down and shut their doors or until.... well, no, all the jobs I have ever had I have stayed at until they either didnt need me anymore.. the side jobs.. or they closed up shop... with my major jobs.

I have been working at this nursing home for almost 3 years now.. and I have always justified working here by saying that I have a second job to make up for the difference in pay so I would stay because I love going to work and I love my old people. Well, the company I work for has gotten so bad that even though I would feel like I am abandoning them.. I am having mini panic attacks in the mornings on my way to work.. I am having the hardest time even getting out of my bed when the alarm goes off so I can come in. They are constantly complaining and complaining to me about things I have no control over.. yelling at me because THEY tell me to do something and then turn around THE VERY NEXT DAY and say they never would tell me to do such a stupid thing and that it is just my fault that I am not getting things done. My direct supervisor is the worst... because he has no balls... sorry if that offends anyone but it is the truth. He is witness to most of my convo's with the admin. staff and then he doesnt even stick up for me and tell them that they did ask me to do things the other way.

We are supposed to be making everyday for these residents enjoyable.. to make them WANT to stay alive or atleast to make their last days bearable. I suggest that we try new activities to do with the old peeps.. new ways of doing the same things also.. just so it wont seem like the soe old procedure... but no. I get shot down every time because "They wont like that" "That isnt going to work" "That will take too much time" It is written in our job descriptions that these are the types of things that we are supposed to be doing with them. How do you know they wont like it if we dont atleast try to see if they will do it in the first place.

I am sort of depressed today and I havent really been for a while.. but it is to the point today that if I dont scream I'm going to cry.. and I guess I already chose which one because I am so frustrated now that I am crying while writting this.

I am not supposed to be the only one that cares about these old people. EVERYONE who works here is supposed to.. thats is why I got into nursing.. to help people.. but most everyone here is in it for the check.. and why I have no idea because you dont really get paid anything... it"s sad... my mother PAYS more in taxes that I make in a year from combining BOTH jobs....

I dont want to change because I would feel so guilty about leaving my peeps... but when do I say enough is enough. How can I bring myself to take that next step and leave... I am anxious just thinking about it.

Sorry to bring anyone down.. I just dont know what to do anymore.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    Oh, this is so sad. Sad for you and for the residents you are trying to help! What you are trying to do is crucial, and elemental, to a properly run facility (I've worked in nursing homes, too!)...but unfortunately, not all of them are run that well.

    For your own well-being, you may want to consider letting go of your loyalty and moving on to something else. Your mental/emotional health is just as important as the work you are doing; if it goes, so does your work!

    For the good of the residents, is there a way to anonymously report concerns to your region/state's Department of Aging (I don't think mine is the only state that has that...)? Sounds like there needs to be some major turnover at this facility.

    Ultimately, when I'm faced with a crisis decision, I always have to put it to pen and paper - write it down, pros and cons of staying vs. moving on. Sometimes it helps to see what column has more input.

    Hang in there!
    3403 days ago
    Oh man. I'm so sorry to hear that. What a mess. The worst part is that the ones who suffer the most in the end are the poor people living in the center. I'm glad they've got you on their side, trying to make things better for them. Such a difficult situation to be in, and I'll keep you in my prayers.

    3403 days ago
    Most of the time I would say Let it go and get out. But in this case there really are other people involved. I just read a book and I thought about you. the sub plot has to do with a nursing home! Anyway My best suggestion is to just do it! I mean go out there and make the best for your peeps. You do what you think is right! Try the things you want at least in a way that you can. Have fun and be there for your Peeps! Not for those collecting checks!!! Only two things can happen if you do this. One you get fired. And hey then you know it was meant to be and hey you did not have to make that decision the upper management idiots did! The second thing that can happen is the Peeps will like what you do. The idiot up above will see this and get off your back. And everyone is happy!!
    So tomorrow or the next time you are on your way to work when that alarm goes off say to your self Today I go in for my peeps and I am going to make this day there best day!
    as for the Idiots (Yeah I am liking my nick name for them.) As for them telling you one thing one day and then the next. there are two things you can do. One get a recorder or document each time. take out a note pad and write it down right in front of them so they know you are doing it. and it they ask why you are righting it down tell them because You are there to do your best and you want to make sure you get it exactly right! ANd then paraphrase it back to them and have them agree that is what they want.
    In doing this you are being very positive, you are showing you are willing to work hard (which we both know you do) But in a sly way you are also doing a little oh dang words do not describe this gesture. But I bet you get the idea!
    Good luck and vent away here! And check out the book I just read. I put it on good reads!
    3403 days ago
  • RENA1965
    Sorry to hear you have this problem, I work for a huge resthome in Denmark. We are government controlled and I appreciate this as we have the resources to help people. Social services has special social workers whom go out and interview the people we help, they get a granted agreement in their hands what my function is.
    It is a hard industry, as I work with people still living at home whom are too fresh to be living in a resthome or have no wish to live in one..
    Time is set off for each assignment granted, if we need more time our card holders put in a application.. My boss has been a prime home care nurse in this area for 15 years so she knows each and every client we have so can stand up for us if they are difficult. She also lifts the phone if we tell her people are acting strange. She never jumps to conclusions it is always our fault before doing her homework.. Our bosses have been put on the school bench to make a good working enivornment, so we keep our co-workers. I have had 7 different bosses, and my present is a super wonderful lady...
    To a boss - employee interview she asks us how we are thriving. I told her about my ADHD, she said I did my job better than expected. If I have problems she will help me, and her door is always open.. I love my boss, and never have experienced this before moving to denmark.. Resthomes in New Zealand are nothing to write home about. When I first worked with dement people when I was 18 years old, they put dement people with no family in mental hospitals. Their only crime was not having any family to help them. I got in a agruement with a head nurse, why did I bother to walk with this old man in a wheel chair. I said they are 15 men all penned up in one sleeping hall, they never get to go outside unless we help them. I took old skipper for a walk one day, his hand touched a rose. He woke up and asked me for the pretty flower, when this nurse came efter us.. I gave him the rose, and replied to this nurse this was this mans home.. How do you want to be treated when you get old Madam? This garden is part of this mans home.. She looked back at me as if having a light bulb moment

    3403 days ago

    Comment edited on: 8/21/2009 12:43:08 PM
    I'm sorry to hear this about your job. Especially when you are doing something you love, it's just the other people you work with.

    Maybe you could ask to have every change the admin ask for to be put in writing so they can't say that they didn't tell you to do something.

    Remember that you can't do anything to help if you aren't healthy. And all this stress can't be healthy for you. Nothing says that you can't come back and visit your former patients if you do quit. Everybody likes visitors!

    Best of luck. I know it's a tough choice.
    3403 days ago
  • RIQUI1
    If your job is causing you this much anxiety and stress, than that is enough. You need to say it now. I can completely relate to your feeling as if you are abandoning people, but you can do no good if you no longer want to be there either. And you aren't going to change those you are working with.

    You MUST take care of yourself first and it sounds like things are getting bad. It is time to move on!!

    I hope that you can find some peace and a job that doesn't make you feel this way very soon!!
    3403 days ago
    I don't know what to tell you as far as leaving a job your love/hate, but what you are doing is SO important to those people! Some of them have no family, as I'm sure you know, and you will be the one they remember on their death bed. I wish you all the best and hope your heart is guided in the right direction!
    3403 days ago
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