Postscript to "Toward a Gentler Goal . . . "
Monday, August 17, 2009
Faced my fear and weighed in today. I now officially have a new highest weight ever, and weigh two times my lowest ever weight in high school eleven years ago. Two times!!!
Rather than overwhelm myself trying to get back to my smallest weight of 145 pounds, I have decided, in the spirit of my post on getting rid of my tiny high school clothes, that I will instead focus on getting below 200 pounds.
Last night, I decided to give myself a mini makeover and take pictures for a new profile pic, since the kitty cat one is almost three years old. I hardly ever wear makeup and I NEVER curl or straighten my hair, but last night I did both (though not at the same time, of course!). Turns out, using a flat iron on my already straight hair makes it flat and emphasizes the roundness of my face, while a gentle blow dry upside down and/or curling with a curling iron gives my hair body and makes it accentuate the fullness of my face in a flattering way. I never knew that. I also realized I'm not sure which you're supposed to do first--hair or makeup???
I took lots of pictures, and I'm proud to say that I think I look beautiful in them, which is progress for someone with such low self-esteem who hates having her photograph taken. I look at them and I tell myself that I have a pretty smile, gorgeous caramel colored eyes that purple eye makeup makes pop, and shiny, thick dark hair.
Taking the time to pamper myself, try new things with my hair and makeup last night, and take picture after picture until I got shots that I love and that make me feel good about myself was AWESOME! It made me feel beautiful in a way I haven't felt beautiful in years, if ever. It reminded me that beauty is not contingent on size. It made facing my weight today on the scale less of a crisis, which in the past would have sent me straight into the food. I highly recommend that you gorgeous people find ways to remind yourselves how lovely you are at any and every weight!
I'd like to also mention a link a friend of mine sent me in response to my blog about finally exorcising my tiny clothes from my closet because I think it influenced my impromptu photo shoot last night and I hope it inspires all of you to reconnect with the truly amazing people you already are: www.operationbeautiful.com--TH
ANK YOU, Deedra!
Now if only I could find the cable for my camera so I could upload the photos!!!