I know how I got here.
Saturday, August 08, 2009
I know how I got here. "Here" is 100 pounds overweight, tired, knees hurt, depressed, self esteem in the toilet. I got here by putting myself last, by making excuses, by living in a place called denial. Following is a partial list of excuses/lies I have told myself over the years,
I don't have time
I don't have enough energy
This/that is more important right now
I don't want to date again, I dated enough when I was younger
I don't deserve to have all in my life that I want.
I don't have enough money to join gym, buy equipment, buy exercise clothes
I am too fat to go to the gym
Everyone will look at me/judge me because of my weight
First I will lose 20 lbs., then go to an exercise class
My kids wont eat the diet food
I don't deserve this-yes, I said it twice.
Just a partial list. When your 100 pounds overweight, the one thing you are good at, besides eating, is making excuses.
What is different this time? Why do I think I can be successful this time? Because, today, I do feel like I deserve this. My kids deserve a mom that will be around for them, that has the energy to play with them, that won't embarrass them. I deserve to be healthy, to be happy, to be strong and feel good. Today, I know I can do this. Tomorrow, we will see. But I feel pretty good about tomorrow, today.