I have been way off the wagon for almost 2 weeks now. It is very depressing and scary. I have been so stressed lately and my nerves have been messing with me also. Which goes to mean that when my nerves are bad, I CAN NOT get full. Yeah, I do not feel like I have ate anything.
Also, I feel like there is a hair on my hand and I look and nothing is there, happens all the time. I also am finding my self cooking and start to cry in the middle of doing so because I wonder what in the world am I doing fixing a meal that is so unhealthy and eating a lot of it.
I honestly just think that all of this with my Mom, my husband, Myself, and others is coming down on me. I constantly stay worried about things. Always thinking about the bad things that could happen. Also, the whole thing about being pregnant has got me worried too.
I will be gone probably all of next or whenever my mom has her surgery, because they are sending her to a hospital that is high tech. It's about an hour drive from here and I will be staying in a hotel right because the hospital. I found out my mom will have to be put on a respirator during her surgery and they are going to slowly wing her off of it. I hope things go well with that. She will also be in ICU for a few days after her surgery. It is so stressing.
I have also tried to start reading books to calm my nerves and get my mind off of things. I am currently reading a true story called "Sleep, My Child, Forever by John Coston". It is about Ellen Boehm, the woman that killed her 2 boys for insurance money back in 1980's. It is very sad but it keeps my mind off of other things. I like true stories way better than fiction because when it is true, it keeps my interest more. I have read half of the books within 3 days. I lso try to stay busy doing things around the house, playing online games, or going outside. Somehow, though, I always end up finding myself in the kitchen eating naughty things.
I really look up to a lot of people on spark. They have met some fantastic goals, and hopefully, one day, I can do the same.
I would like to thank all of you who have commented on my blogs and listened to me blah about my day. It really does put a smile on my face.
Love You all & God Bless Everyone!
-Christie [Carrie=my real name]