Where Art Thou?

Tuesday, July 14, 2009

I'm right here.

I got somewhat sidetracked over the last month. I've notice quite a few of my spark buddies are busy and are floating in and out of spark. It's the summertime...everyone is caught up with vacations, children, work and the summer buzz. For me life just happened and I got wrapped up and distracted. My eye was no longer on the prize (so to speak). But I got a nice little jolt back into reality this weekend.

I flew up north to see my boyfriends family. My before pictures were taken there. It was there, back in December, that I realized I was out of control and so was my weight. I've lost 45 lbs since being there at Christmas. I waited to see if anyone would say one really even noticed I lost any weight. So, I said something....they only thing that was said-"yeah, I noticed a difference when you ordered your food." (Note to self-"food police" present) They did not notice I lost weight-I will always be fat in their eyes. My boyfriends family is very prejudice when it comes to weight. I was excited to show off my hard work and all I got was your face looks thinner...come on people, I did not lose 45 lbs from my face. I was not happy. I did not like the way they made me feel. Then it happened know the family photo of you taken next to the 100 lb person. All I could say was....whoa! The reality is I am still large (300 lbs). I could sit around and wallow in self pity. But I refuse.

I became very lax with my eating and exercise over the last month. The trip up north, to see this weight obsessed family, actually wasn't a bad thing. I am back on track. I am back on my glad you are all still here to walk beside me.

Me and my fella, this weekend, sipping a bowl of a drink!

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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    Hi, Christine
    Welcome back, I missed you, no news from you in the last weeks !
    Simply, don't care! YOU have the power to decide how to feel, not other people!!!!
    Hope your bf is smarter and more supportive than his family! You are doing this for yourself and your dear ones not to receive compliments from people.
    Even if persons are aware of your weight loss, compliments are generally rare (of course not here in Sparkpeople!)
    Often when people notice I have lost a lot of weight they comment "are you well, are you sure you aren't sick?" I simply hate this!
    Be proud of your accomplishments and focus on your goal. emoticon
    4152 days ago
    Well firstly, i'm just glad to have you back!!!!!!!!!!!! As for people noticing your weight loss - skinny people don't notice, unless you get skinny and then they tell you that you look ill or have gone too far with your weigh loss!!! Other people (those willing to give praise where its due) seem to fail to notice when I have lost large amounts, but then compliment me on my losses, when I have actually gained a couple of pounds - you can't win really!!
    Whatever it takes to get you all motivated, you do it!!!! If it's sticking it to them next time you meet up, let that be inspiration right now!! The bf's family, their opinion is not important though, is it?!? As long as you realise how great you are looking and have that inner confidence of sexiness and success!!! It's not about the weight really - its about how WE feel about it (and right now, I'm feeling pretty damn sexy and fabulous being OBESE)
    Get your focus back, get back into the 200's and by the time you reach 295 you will feel soooo good about yourself, that you won't need to give other people's opinions a seconds thought!!!!
    Love having you back!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    4153 days ago
    Some people just love to smack others in the face... well when you get to where you want to be and you're happy with the way you are and all this is said and done.. not only will they notice, but you probably won't even give a damn! We'll never please everybody all the time, all we can do is please us.. but I know not having our hard work recognized is dsiappointing. We just gotta keep trudging on and putting in our time and hard work. Soon we'll be total babes and it won't matter that anyone notices at all cos we'll know!!! emoticon
    4153 days ago
  • JBMT08
    Hey Girl,
    Chin up!!! I know how it feels. I wait to see how my friends/family will react when I wear something form fitting...and they dont say anything. It is ok. I have come to realize ( over a very long time!!) that I am in this to make ME happy. And, I know that you are now back with a vengeance!!! SO, HOP TO IT SISTA!!!!!!! We can all DO THIS!!! emoticon emoticon
    4153 days ago
    It's really hard when family members aren't around in your life to see the hard work you are putting forth to lose the weight. The reality is that this journey is going to take a long time. People may not notice for a long while and others may notice every single pound. The only view that matters is your view. Are you noticing the weight loss? Do you notice the difference in how you feel and how your clothes fit? Do you notice that you are walking around happier than you were 45 pounds ago? I'm sure it hurts to know after all this hard work that you can't get a single compliment from those fools..... BUT the fact that you were able to find strength in their negativity shows you are committed to a healthier lifestyle and will ultimately succeed. Good luck throughout the rest of this month. I know I am in the same boat as you needing to refocus, as I have been off the plan due to vacation and summer fun. We can do this. Refocus in July and major weight loss in August! Good luck and welcome back!
    4153 days ago
    Aww honey I'm sorry! That is a HUGE accomplishement that sometimes gets lost on people who have never had to work to lose weight. It's something to be proud of and you should be the talk of the ton! Congratulations and just set a goal for next year. You'll knock their socks off. emoticon
    4153 days ago
    Well - just hold on to how great it is going to be when you NEXT see them and you have dropped even more weight and they won't be able to deny that you are looking good ALL OVER!!! And all that really matters is what the BF thinks...and I bet he thinks you are BEAUTIFUL!!

    It's always hard to be around non-supportive people, but at least you are finding the silver lining in that it is getting you back on track!

    Good job!
    4153 days ago
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