Why am I so destructive towards myself? DO I need rehab?

Saturday, July 11, 2009

Ok today I got up really early for me, I usually get up around 8 and start my day I work 2 jobs and I usually don't get home until after 2:00am on Saturday morning. This day started with a trip to the gym with my co-worker. I got up at 6:30am and met her at the gym at 7:15ish. I worked my butt off on the elliptical only doing 25 minutes total but I set the resistance at 12 out of 20. I really pushed myself. I did my weight training for 40 minutes and did a little tanning session. NONE of this was bad in the least bit.

THEN I had to go to the eye doctor to get a check up on my new contact prescription. I was starving because I did not eat when I got up as I was running a bit late. SO, before I went to the eye doctor I went and bought some things I needed for my house. I was strong and did not buy anything to snack on before the 5 minute doctor's visit. OK I am getting to the bad part now. I went to Micky D's, aka the crack house for fat people, and got a 700 calorie steak egg and cheese bagel, and a 200 calorie sweet tea, and I could not find the "nutritional" information on the hash brown. In other words, I totally BLEW off all the good work I had done this morning. When I ordered my food the lady asked if I wanted any cinnamon buns and I told her if she would see the size of my rear then she wouldn't ask me that question. I made her laugh but afterwards and AFTER I ate the bad food. I can't help but to think that food IS a drug and I am addicted to it.

Don't get me wrong I LOVE to eat.... I feel like I have something wrong with me... Am I broken? Do I need fixing?

It is not like I just like bad food either. I just like food... I am addicted. I have got to find a balance so the "crack" feeling goes away...

Share This Post With Others
Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • APRIL11301
    LMAO you crack me up you worked your butt off for that meal don't beat your self up but this is coming from the spokes person for the crack house
    3208 days ago
  • TAZ675
    LMAO@crack house for fat people. But seriously don't beat yourself up. Ok, maybe you ate a little more than you'd intended, BUT that doesn't mean you didn't get any benefit from your workout. And more importantly you can learned an important lesson about planning and being prepared. It's not bad if you at least learn from the experience. emoticon tomorrow is another day to try again, and as long as you keep trying you're not failing.
    3210 days ago
  • PAIGE367
    Don't be too hard on yourself. None of us is perfect. Just don't let it turn into a multiple day binge. You can do can gain control. I believe in you.
    3210 days ago
    Hey! Don't beat yourself up too much because you are just human. We all have crazy days that we end up making poor choices. I will go all day doing great and blow it at night once things slow down. As long as these bad days don't turn into weeks and months you should be okay. When you are super busy it's even more important to pack food and snacks. I swear you might need a cooler for your long day! I wish you well and know you can do it, without
    3210 days ago
  • MEKAN82
    It happens to all of us. The good news is that you did workout before the blowout. That took the sting out of those calories.
    3210 days ago
  • SLCB1023
    Well, I am always looking at ways to improve my food and exercise plans. You need to take this eating session and really examine it for the lessons learned here. Maybe having something quick you could have snacked on for a breakfast (not good to do that workout with out fueling your body first). Or how about keeping some safe snacks in your car for those emergencies. I always carry around almonds and a few triscuits in a ziplock so I don't go food crazy when I am STARVING. Learn your lessons and move on to a better plan. That's what this is all about anyway... learning to live this way forever. emoticon And also make sure you give yourself a pat for all the good things you did that day. Focus on the good choices not always the poor choices.
    3210 days ago
    Well, I'm sure I haven't responded to you before but if you ever look at what I write I'm always talking about PLANNING. I could not do this without planning. If I am left to make last minute decisions about food, they will not be good ones.
    When I started SP in January I even went online to all the food places I normally stop at and figured out what I COULD order from their menu, so that if I was faced with ordering anything I would not choose poorly. I planned. For McD: If we are traveling and stop there for breakfast, I order an egg mcmuffin and the sliced apples with NO sugar tea. It is about 400 calories for the meal and I can live with that. (You can, if you want to cut some calories off, ask for no cheese on the sandwich. I used to love cheese, it was my downfall, but now I find I'm happy without it most of the time. Just not worth the extra calories and fat. )
    When you are as busy as you are (I am, too) you really need careful planning to make it through the days. This means taking a few minutes the night before to put yourself first! I work full time, go to school part time, do community work and have a family. Sometimes I am not home from early until late in the day. So if I don't PLAN a day ahead I will end up standing at the snack machine at work with an armful or Doritos and Snickers bars. I just can't take the chance. So I plan ahead, portion out meals in containers, and load up before I leave in the morning.
    YOU CAN DO THIS! You are worth it.
    3210 days ago
  • Add Your Comment to the Blog Post

    Log in to post a comment

    Disclaimer: Weight loss results will vary from person to person. No individual result should be seen as a typical result of following the SparkPeople program.