PAULAMARIEF

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So I Took Off My Clothes!

Tuesday, July 07, 2009

We went to the beach this past weekend. My sister has a beach house. So my 25 and 28 year old nieces were there in their little bikinis and my sister who will be 60 is a skinny minny and then there's me.

I'm sitting in the sun with my tank top and shorts over my bathing suit. Why I thought to myself. Hmm...Maybe because my whole life I worried about what everyone else thought of me. I'm 44 and have my beautiful 3 year old playing in the sand. Isn't time I stop worrying if my thighs aren't the perfect size and my butt isn't what it used to be? Will I ever be happy with the way I look? Obviously I waste a lot of time thinking about it. Trust me, I've been through a lot with my past (hospitalized with eating disorder and through a lot of therapy, etc...) so I know my body image isn't my only issue emoticon.

So I did it. I just stood up and took my shirt off and then my shorts slipped down. And I didn't crash to the ground as fast as I could; I slowing walked over to my beach bag and put my clothes in them and then sipped some water. It felt soooo good.

Does anyone relate to this feeling. It was like what the heck have I been doing to myself. So I don't have any great moral to my story and I will still worry later today as I cook dinner for my FIL, but I don't feel as stressed walking around in my shorts and I can get back to eating healthy because of my cholesterol and not get so caught up in the weight loss.

Thanks for reading.

Paula
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • FITGIRL15
    I took a look at your recent pics, and seriously woman... you look SMOKIN! What are you worried about? You have a body most women would kill for!!!

    I guess it's hard, after having an ED and other body image issues... but let me just reitterate, you obviously work hard and have achieved an amazing physique!!!

    You could definitely do a fitness competition! (My only concern is that training and competing in a show would bring up MORE disordered eating and body dismorphic thoughts! ... as it did SLIGHTLY for me, and I have never had a poor body image!)

    I don't think competing is for everyone... I suggest setting up a goal like a photo shoot instead! It's much less pressure and you'll still look & feel GREAT once you get there! (Not to mention a competition isn't cheap to enter or prepare for!!!)

    Thanks for the friend ADD! :)
    ~jessica
    4016 days ago
  • PAULAMARIEF
    Thank you ladies for responding!
    4055 days ago
  • TEE8614
    I can relate to this also. I have not worn a bathing suit or gone swimming in years. I refuse to wear shorts either. My body doesn't look that bad, its just a feeling you get. I think its awesome that you were able to overcome that!
    4056 days ago
  • TEE8614
    I can relate to this also. I have not worn a bathing suit or gone swimming in years. I refuse to wear shorts either. My body doesn't look that bad, its just a feeling you get. I think its awesome that you were able to overcome that!
    4056 days ago
  • CSIENK
    I can relate. I've lost the weight I wanted to lose, but now I'm working on toning everything - especially my abs and arms. BUT - because I feel so much healthier and have so much energy, I also find myself stressing less about how my body looks. I know it's getting better - inside and out.

    Great blog... (REALLY GREAT title)... emoticon emoticon

    emoticon
    4056 days ago
  • JODI_HARRIS
    That is awesome! I feel the same way -- right now, my body is bad -- marbly, jiggly and all that. But you know what, I would rather feel good than look good. I may never be "skinny", but I WILL feel good in my clothes (and skin!) emoticon
    4056 days ago
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