back at it

Monday, July 06, 2009

Well just when I decided I didn't care if I got round as an apple, I found out why my health and weight matters.
My darling husband, Zell, has been diagnosised with cancer. I will need to be on my feet waiting on him and carrying the weight. Would have been better if I was better. Now I know for sure, it is not about how I look or how I feel. If is a matter of being "there" for everyone I love including me.
Prayers are appreciated. Thanks to all of you who have already welcomed me back.
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    I wish I had seen this sooner, but I'm just getting back into SP again myself.

    My prayers go out to you and your husband. I've lived through watching someone go through cancer treatment. Joe never would let me do much to *help* him, but I know how at least some of things you may be feeling right now.

    Much love
    4179 days ago
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    Thinking of you and sending positive thoughts your way. Take care of yourself so you can take care of him, and don't be afraid to ask for help. Lots of people will want to offer but won't want to impose on your privacy, and then there's always US your Sparkbuddies, we're here to listen and keep you in our thoughts. Let us know how you're both doing.

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    4205 days ago
    I can't say anything better than the others before me..I'm here if you need to talk! I'm sending prayers your way. Hugs, Kylie
    4212 days ago
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    So many have said it so eloquently! I agree whole heartedly about asking for help. I wish that I lived closer so I could cook up some casseroles for your freezer! I also think that finding either an online cancer support group (which would be convenient) or a real time group in your area would help you share what you are going through with those who are walking the path.
    And of course, you know all of your MM'er friends will be here to listen and pray for you!

    Don't be afraid to let yourself feel what you feel. If you need to cry, cry and if you need to beat the pillow and say "Why, Oh Why!" it is okay. Letting your feelings out in a safe, private way that is personal to you will lower your stress level and make it easier to cope.

    Sally, I am just so sorry that Zell and you are going through this!
    You remain in my thoughts and prayers! Just take it one step at a time. emoticon emoticon
    4215 days ago
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    Sarah....we are so here for you! We all love ya and are praying deeply for you and Zell...dont ever forget the strength we have for each other!
    4215 days ago
    Oh, darling Sarah - I just stopped in to Spark today to try to find some new leaders for my teams, and saw your post. I am so sorry for the new challenge tossed your way. Please know that, even when I am not online, I am thinking of you and praying for you both. As you know, I have been fighting cancer for a year now (just started high dose radiation yesterday), so if there is any special insight I can lend you, I am here. There are also some great Spark teams here for support and other advice.

    I am glad to hear you will be taking care of yourself through this. Zell needs you healthy, and that means you're a priority as much as he is. I wish I were there to help.

    All my love to you, dear heart. You can do this.
    4216 days ago
    my wonderful friend, i wish i could take some of the load off you. but as it is, i can only offer my virtual ear and shoulder. please remember that i am here, as are so many of our mutual friends.
    you also know that i am not a good one for prayers, but you and zell are in my thoughts and in my heart. i'm happy to hear that you are taking care of yourself.
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    4217 days ago
    So very sorry for your dh diagnosis. but very glad to see you back. I pray for you both that you find strength in this time as it is a hard road. I just helped my mum for past few years till she passed. Hard on everyone, so as the others have said if someone offers to help do allow them.
    Knowing that healthy food will help you both will enable you to eat better. Maybe walking a bit will keep you moving and some ME time. I walked the dog for a bit every morning and those walks kept me sane.
    anyway I know you know all this.
    HUGS to you and yours.
    4217 days ago
    Sarah, I'm glad you found your way back to your friends here. Let us support you when you need help finding your own strength. Zell needs you to be strong and healthy right now, and this is the best place to become stronger and healthier.

    I would do anything for you and Zell to not have to go through this. I am sending my love and prayers to you and offer the comfort of my shoulder anytime you need it.

    You are always in my heart. emoticon
    4217 days ago
    Sorry for the struggle. Wish I could pop over to give back rubs and floor scrubs.
    DO get on line now and then- more importantly, DO take time for you. Prayer and walking, a swim, some good music now and then.
    Center yourself.

    4217 days ago
    If roles were reversed, I think you might encourage me to find a circle of friends who I could call to help me do the small things in life when I feel overwhelmed. We can and are here to help support you emotionally. However the truth is that as cyber friends there is little we can do to help unload your everyday tasks. I know it goes against all feelings of pride and independence, but let others do things for you. It will help you stay strong for Zell and will allow them a way to feel they are making a difference in helping you both. Those outside your immediate family who love you, are likely to feel at a loss at what they can do to ease things for you. Make a list of people who could shop for you, do the laundry, dust & vacuum or do dishes. Is there someone who could sort your mail so you only have to deal with the important stuff? Someone who would cook a few meals ahead for you on weekends so you don't have to worry about that when you get home and need to be with Zell? If you think this is too much to ask of the people in you life, think again. Several years ago, good friends of ours lost their 19 year old son. Those of us close to the family ached to do something to help them through that terrible time. It doesn't often yield a request when you ask people to let them know if there is anything you can do. Mostly people are too overwhelmed to think of anything. Instead of asking for tasks, we'd show up and while lending emotional support and listening, we started the laundry, cleaned up things, made up meals, mowed the lawn, etc. It made a difference for all of us to be able to work through it together and ended up closer than ever. It was a gift of support for them and a blessing to us to be able to be there. You are a bless in many lives, let folks be there for you to return the blessings.
    Wish I could be there for you to do some of it!
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    4217 days ago
    Sarah, it is so good to hear from you again, but I'm really sorry about your husband's diagnosis.
    You will be able to do whatever you need to do for him, but don't forget to take care of yourself too!
    We all care about you, and I'm praying for you and your husband.
    Hugs, Leslie
    4217 days ago
    emoticon Sarah - we love you lady! You and Zell will be in our thoughts and prayers for strength, courage and much healing.
    4217 days ago
    Sarah, we are here to support you. When your strength is low lean on us, others, friends give back to you what you have given of your self. We, I missed you. My prayers for your husband & you. emoticon
    4218 days ago
    Sarah, every day you can do good things for yourself which will give you the strength to be there for your husband. Choose healthy foods which will give you the energy you need. Blog and sparkmail and post on threads to remind you that you have friends who care very, very much about you.

    Keeping you close in my thoughts....... emoticon
    4218 days ago
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