Saturday, June 27, 2009

I went shopping with s.i.l. yesterday. All she did was whine how fat she is at a whopping 135 lbs. I love her to death and I know she doesn't realize it but it makes me feel horrible. Then today I went looking for shorts or a skirt. Everytime I looked in the mirror I felt like a fat cow. I didn't realize how much I hate my own body. I bought shorts last year before vacation and none of them fit. My husband and I have had sex in over a year. I can't help but think that it's because of my weight gain. He says he still finds me sexy but he never does anything to show it. He buys stuff for me but that's not what I need. I know he loves me but I hate the way I look. I have nerve damage and it hurts tremendously when I excercies. Hell it hurts when I do anything. I am just going to makes sure I take enough meds and push through. emoticon
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    Good to see you blogging again!

    Some people know how to say the most hurtful things - sometimes on purpose and other times because they just didn't THINK! I always count shopping as walking exercise!

    Just concentrate on the baby steps and stick out your tongue at your s.i.l. emoticon
    3616 days ago
    it's easy to get down on yourself but you shouldn't you have a medical reason for the way you look. your husband understands and you should more.just because someone is on the heavy side does not mean that they can't dress nice and let the love shine through. your sister is insensitive . maybe you husband is afraid he will hurt you. you have to lead the can learn to love yourself more, it takes practice. you and your husband deserve it. emoticon emoticon
    3618 days ago
    I understand how you feel. Don't you hate it when friends or family complain, "I'm need to lose some weight" or "OMG I'm so fat", It's like damn, then what do you think of me! Just stay focused & if you need some support or motivation just HOLLA!!! lol
    3618 days ago
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