Uneasy Feeling

Thursday, June 11, 2009

Tomorrow I go to court to face my ex for the last time. Tomorrow I will get my daughter emancipated and never have to deal with this a**hole again unless it's on my terms and I want to. Tomorrow I put a very large chapter of my life, and the stress that went with it, behind me.

While I have known for weeks that this day was coming, I seem to have burried the fact in my subconscious. I took the day off from work tomorrow. (Because after dealing with him I'm treating myself to a hair appt.) And I really don't have to worry about printing anything out or doing much more than showing up tomorrow. Piece of cake.

So why am I stressing? And why was I hiding the real reason for all the stressing from myself? I just really hate dealing with this guy. I have no reason to stress. I don't have anything to fear. Nothing can happen to me. And yet, I go back to being intimidated by him? I just don't get it!

Yes I am strong. No, I will not eat the day away. (This particular stress actually tends to make me not want to eat.) I have nothing to fear. I will make it through today and tomorrow morning and my goal is to not snap the heads off of people around me when they don't deserve it. And by noon tomorrow it'll all be over with.

Deep breath. Don't forget to breathe!
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • MYTURN11
    When I face encounters like this, I always say to myself "I can put up with anybody or anything for an hour and then I will just walk away". You will be just fine and enjoy pampering yourself, you are so worth it!
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    4277 days ago
    Good for you for being so strong and for treating yourself with a non-food reward. Good for you for recognizing it as no reason to eat the day away and doing other things. emoticon
    4279 days ago
    At least you know that this par of your life is coming to an end, and that leaves so many more doors open! Have faith in yourself, and remember how strong you really are! Stay true the the beauty that is you!

    4279 days ago
  • SUZY6281
    I had to deal with my ex about a year and a half ago. I hadn't seen him in 17 years. I was happy to note that while I had gotten fat, he had gotten very old. My first thought was, "I can lose weight, but what's he gonna do about THAT?" Ha! You know, karma is alive and well.

    Relax as best you can. It will be over in no time.

    4280 days ago
  • no profile photo CD1117753
    Good luck, relax, and enjoy the results of your hard work. I'm sure getting to this day was some of the hardest work you've done. The stress probably won't leave, but just keep reminding yourself that this is the last step of that journey and you're already on a new one.

    4280 days ago
    Breath! Glad you are treating yourself to something "de stressing" like a hair appointment; and really glad you got your daughter away from him.

    Hugs. Thinking about you!
    4280 days ago
    Sorry you are going through this - though stress can cause problems losing weight and other issues to. If you know you have nothing to fear.... breathe deep... ahhhhhh.... and relax. Take a long bath tonight and try to remain stress free! Easier said than done, I know. But try. :)

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    just think of bunnies and butterflies and flowers and happy little things.... :)
    4280 days ago
    You are strong and he is a weenie. I used that mantra when dealing with my X. You can do this -- you are going to feel great once it's over and it will be over before you know it.

    Keep you chin up - be proud of your choices and of yourself. You CAN do anything you put your mind to. Good luck!!

    4280 days ago
    It's common to feel that way before going to court. You know it will be over but it really is not over until you walk out of there with papers in your had. In fact althoug it's over there will probably still be some dealings with him in the furtue because you have a child. But you will find yourself with a feeling of power. ANd you said you are not afraid (of him) so that's good. I had to deal with that fear for awhile after mine...and during, of course.
    Eventually you will see your life turning around and if he is still a jerk he will fall down. Just be sure you analyze yourself and the reasons you married this kind of guy in the first place so you don't do it again! It took me two rotten marriages before I realized it was my fault for chosing the wrong type of guy. Now I am happy with my "spousal alternative" because I realized what the problem was. ( In other words we are living together. No need for a marriage license at our age)
    Hang in there. You will be fine!!
    4280 days ago
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