Wednesday, June 10, 2009

You know.... life is ridiculous sometimes. I sit here and feed myself [pun intended] all these reasons why I'm not losing weight. I'm stressed, I don't have time to work out, blah blah blah snore. Seriously, what the hell is wrong with me?! I've so had enough! I just wish I could find it in myself to start something and KEEP at it, you know?

I always give up right when things start to go well. 'Oh, I'm losing weight' and somehow my thought process leads to 'maybe i should... STOP?!!?!?!' lawd. I will never understand how that works for me. I have GOT to stop doing this to myself! I hate the way I feel, I hate the way I look, and I HATE the way people see me. And yet, I still HATE to exercise. I tell myself it would be easier if there was a place I could swim. Hah! Would I really go, even then? I have no idea. All I know is that I need to be fit to have a baby! I'm not. Not even close. With Michael leaving for Iraq in December I tell myself that I will have lost all the weight by the time he gets back. I know that unless I really commit, that's completely untrue. So, how do I get to the point where I can not hate the exercise so much? I know why..... Sitting here writing about it I know why I hate it.

It hurts.

Every muscle and bone and joint in my body HURTS when I exercise. My knees ache and my back burns. It has very little to do with strength or endurance. It has to do with the fact that I am so FAT -- my body can hardly handle the weight. My frame is slight... the weight I carry around is much too much for it. UGH.
I'll get there.
Share This Post With Others
Member Comments About This Blog Post
    I am the same way. I give up after just a short while. I make excuses as to why I can't exercise... I'm busy, I need to clean the house, my son won't let me... and so that doesn't help losing weight of course.
    Sometimes we just have to suck it up and say I'M DONE. I just need to DO IT. This is for our health, our self esteem, our families, but most importantly for ourselves.

    Of course, I'm still coming to understand that. Right now I could be exercising, but I'm sitting at the table in front of my laptop writing this.
    3237 days ago
    You have to break the cycle - if you do nothing it will only get worse. I think you have to find something that you can get into, what have you tried?
    3237 days ago
    I can relate to your post very well. I would do good for a bit and then blow it.
    What I have tried to do now if just focus on the day. Not next week, next month.
    But Today.

    I can't change yesterday. Tomorrow hasn't come yet and I am here Today.

    Sorry you have such pain exercising. Perhaps an over the counter pain relief or ask your doctor.

    Sending you positive vibes today. emoticon
    3237 days ago
  • Add Your Comment to the Blog Post

    Log in to post a comment

    Disclaimer: Weight loss results will vary from person to person. No individual result should be seen as a typical result of following the SparkPeople program.

More Blogs by LOVINGLIVI