Like Being On a Roller Coaster!
Monday, June 08, 2009
Today MY EMOTIONS were like being on a roller coaster.
I felt pretty good when I got up, had toast and peanut butter for breakfast with a cup of coffee.
Started reading and responding to my Spark\Mail everything was still ok.
So when I started feeling sad, I explored those feelings trying to determine what had created them. Something I read?? Remembrance of something in the past??
I came up with a couple of things ... one was the anniversary of my x-husbands death. Second ...I am not happy with myself and how my healthy living changes are going.
I started to cry and yell at myself because I am the only person who can make these changes happen, not only with changes to healthy living but to other situations I have going in my life at this time.
Then I remembered I had just read an article about journalising. I went to my journal on SparkPeople and typed and cried and cried and typed until I reached A point of conclusion.
Feeling some what better I thought it was time to do my exercise....I remembered I needed to checkout some music to listen to while walking on the treadmill. I looked through my cassettes by different artist and chose a couple. At the same time I had found a shoe box of ohome made tapes some with titles some without. While listening to those I came across a a tape where I had a card reading and a tape of a phone conversation I had with a guy I had been dating back in 1987. That made me feel sad again!
I also found a hypnotist tape for weight loss, listened to that, not sure if I was hypnotised or not. lol
I finally chose some music to take downstairs and begin my exercise. I almost made it to 1 mile, but my legs were getting so heavy I could keep going. I came upstairs took a shower and ate dinner.
Guess what? I feel so much better, and thru all of that I didn't do any emotional eating!
I made a discovery today, I can having feelings of sadness, doubt, hopelessness and I can work my way thru them without eating!!