I'VE GAINED WEIGHT????? HOW DID THAT HAPPEN?????
Sunday, June 07, 2009
This last week has been the worst I've had in a long time. I finally gave up the smokes again a month ago and also went back to eating healthy. At first it felt like I lost a couple of pounds but now I feel like I've gained a ton!!!!! I feel bigger than ever, I feel horrible & nothing fits. It is so discouraging. I just can't figure out how I've gained when I've cut out all the junk. I eat 3 meals a day and I've been doing alot of yard work & I've gained????????? It makes me feel really depressed and I'm so upset over it, I have no motivation to do anything.
Along with being bummed out about the not smoking and the weight gain, a friend was diagnosed with a brain tumor a week ago. The pathology results should be in tomorrow. The only thing we know right now is that it's unoperable because of it's location. Also it originated in the brain which is good because if it had migrated than that would've meant cancer somewhere else in her body and that has definitely been ruled out. But it just sucks that this is happening to her.
Writing usually dissipates the tension, stress & overall blues but it just ain't happening right now........... I'm trying to stay positive & get myself back on track mentally because when you're down, you're down about everything & that's not good. I'd like to just take off on a month long vacation to a deserted island somewhere - just me w/no responsibilities to people, pets, family, etc. Just me laying in the sand, eyes closed, soaking up the sun, listening to the surf, smelling the salt water and being wrapped up in a warm gentle breeze. No phones, no tv, no noises period. I'd come back a new woman - calm, relaxed, energized and balanced...................