Monday, June 01, 2009
06/01/2009 After 5-6 months away and 25 pounds regained, I am back. I finally gave in and re-set all of my Spark stuff today. It was hard to see my old numbers go "bye bye" especially since sometimes it seems like it must have all just been a dream. Me, exercising for 5 hours a week? Ha! Me, sticking easily to a calorie range of 1500-1800? Surely not....
How did I DO all of that?!
Well, in part it was because I was single. i've been involved seriously for almost 6 months now and it makes my pursuit of fitness practically nonexistent. Ultimately I know that's on my shoulders, but dang.... all the wrong foods being brought in the house, all the free time sucked up, added stress from sharing living space with someone after so many years, etc. - it all adds up to many extra pounds on my a&&. I saw part of my old nemesis (double chin) in the mirror the other day and wanted to cry. I find myself getting out of breath just going up a flight of stairs or bending over to tie my shoes. Dang it, I had gotten PAST all of that!! And I want to go back to where I was!!
Another issue this past few months has been a problem with my CPAP machine. My oxygen saturation level at the doctor's office last week was 92% - pretty bad considering I'd been up over an hour already at that point. Apparently my filter wasn't working right, and so I wasn't getting nearly the air flow I needed. Therefore, I have been constantly exhausted and feeling brain-dead. What does that in turn cause? Endless snacking to try to stay awake and semi-alert, and emotional eating when I get freaked out at feeling like an inept fool at my job, from not being able to stay focused. I got new filters last week, and that part has helped some already.
My antidepressant stuff has also been off for a few months - the generic just wasn't working for me, and I finally figured that out. The pharmacy had trouble getting the name brand stuff in, but I got started on that again as of today, so hopefully in a week or two THAT will be making a difference, too.
I also haven't been exercising this past 6 weeks, due to a back injury, and so that has contributed to both the weight gain and the blah mood. I'm going to the gym tomorrow morning -- who wants to hold me accountable?!!! Please?!
'kay - enough whining. Bottom line, I'm back, and I have GOT to stay on track this time!