Monday, June 01, 2009

Le sigh. Today feels like it's going to be a tough one. Things are feeling a bit out of control for me and I'm battling back the grumpyness and urge to throw in the towel. A few things that are eating away at me today:

1. I gained a pound. This frustrates me so much. I've been stuck on this plateau for MONTHS and now, a gain. I really kicked up the workouts last week too, adding in an extra kickboxing class plus some running intervals. I just feel so frustrated, like once again, my body just won't cooperate with me. Like once again, it is my enemy instead of my friend.

2. My car got hit last night, while parked on the street outside my building. This happens on a fairly regular basis - well, it either gets run into or has the windows broken in. Ah the joys of city living. Not to mention the fact that I just dropped $700 last week to replace the entire radiator/cooling system. Cars suck. So do bad drivers and burglars.

3. I feel lonely lately. This weekend we had brief meetups with some old friends, and while it was nice, I just feel like I don't have much in common any more. Sometimes it seems that people want to do all the talking, but aren't really interested in hearing what's going on in your life. I kinda just feel like I'm just a spectator in the social world these days, just watching things but not really participating. Sometimes I think I forgot how to participate.

4. I'm nervous for my yoga class tonight. I really want to go because the class is great and the other students are too, but it's with a teacher who hasn't necessarily been the nicest to me (made fun of me in front of the whole class). It's been 3 weeks since I've been to his class, and it takes a good amount of me steeling my resolve in order to go. I just don't know if I'm up for it today.

I'm going to step aerobics at lunch time. Maybe that will help me feel better.
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    3307 days ago
    Bad teachers are definitely too much to deal with. I can sympathize. As for the loneliness...I just touched base with a good friend who updated me on a bunch of my former friends. I'd been feeling bad that those friendships had petered out, but then after hearing about them I realized I just wasn't part of that world anymore. It's still sad to let something go, but if you tell yourself it's okay that you do, you can feel more free to find something (some people) you really _do_ enjoy. (And as for the talking-but-not-listening, I find more people behave that way than not. It's frustrating, I agree.)

    I also sympathize with the gain/plateau...if I knew the answer I wouldn't still be stuck here myself? but...at least you're hanging in there with your plans, so that's wonderful. Good on you!
    3307 days ago
    Dang, I saw your status message read you had a case of the Mondays... and here it is. Le sigh. emoticon

    1. Keep on with the workouts. They make you feel good and hopefully the lunchtime workout will have you in a great mood. Plateaus suck but you will break through at some point. This is a process.

    2. Bad drivers and burglars are lame! The only exception is the Hamburglar... nobody needs to eat that crap.

    3. I really felt like this when we lived in Miami. It sucked. I just hope you find that less lonely spot in the world soon because you seem like you have so much to offer to those you surround yourself with. A woman like you deserves good friends that have something to offer as well.

    4. Hmmmph! The nerve calling you out. That just seems like an a$$ move on his part. If you go I hope you are able to hit that sweet spot in your practice.

    3307 days ago
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