NOT SURE I AM DOING THE RIGHT THING 46
Monday, May 25, 2009
I just told a great guy that I need time for myself because I wanted to be 100% happy with me before being with him. We both got off the phone crying. Seems like this weight is not only weighing my physical body down but my whole mental being down.
. This guy I met 2 years ago when I was heavy but not this heavy. I was 156 and as he put it thick. But today I don't even want him to see me and I am doing everything even making my heart hurt just to hide ME. I told him I've gain weight and he swears he does not care but I'll never forget the expression on an old boyfriends face when he saw me in a video store in which I tried to hide down every isle but eventually ran right smack into him. The look on his face was like WOW thank you lord for letting her leave me. He looked relieved. I did not want to see that same expression on Richards face. I mean he stated that this time he was not letting me get away and that he would spend his life making me and my son happy loving me every single minute of every single day. WOW!!!!!! Now I feel like I've just done the dumbest and the best thing for me. The dumbest because I'm letting this terrific man get away
and the best because now at least I will not get hurt if we meet and that look appears