An Item for the "How Come I Can't Learn?" Column

So....it's 2:29 a.m. and I'm awake because I refluxed. I refluxed because:

a) I'm overweight
b) I ate when I wasn't hungry
c) I overate with coffee, spicy food, and chocolate

Every night I have to prop myself up before I go to sleep and stay that way until about 4 or 5 a.m. to insure I don't reflux. I also take medication for reflux - Protonix, having to have changed that medication three times in the last 8 years because the others stopped working. Despite this, it still happened tonight. I know I wasn't propped as high as usual and combine that with coffee, spicy food, and chocolate and maybe even fully propped I wouldn't have been able to stop this.

So, I can say I know better....but that's always the case with me lately. I know better. Nothing is scarier to me than not overeating, and so I overeat. I don't get it! I have high cholesterol. I have a high A1C number. I have a strong family history of heart disease. I have metabolic syndrome. I get winded going up stairs and if I have to go up enough of them, I can't do it. I have almost constant heartburn all the time putting me at risk for esophogeal cancer. I have all these scary things that should have a stronger pull on me than overeating, yet it doesn't.

I could say okay....starting today back on the diet. Back to small meals, being hungry, taking my pills through out the day with meals instead of thinking I have to eat at 9 p.m. to not take them on an empty stomach. I don't HAVE to take everything at night. I can spread them out through the day. I know with small meals and going to bed on an empty stomach these things aren't issues with only heartburn being an occasional issue.

I also know these are the benefits of being at a lower weight because I've been there:

a) The ability to move without being winded, not just walking stairs, but running, and being able to get up from sitting on the floor without help.
b) Normal cholesterol WITHOUT medication
c) NO refluxing...none, zero, zilch, nada
d) More energy and an overall well feeling
e) Limited anxiety

So I know what I did to make this happen tonight.
So I know what to do to not make it happen again.
So I know how good I feel when I'm at a lower weight.

So how come I keep making entries into the "How Come I Can't Learn?" column????