Saturday, May 23, 2009
I started this journey in January at a weight of 236 - I lost a lot of weight at first - then nothing. I got discouraged wanted to give up, but everyone here in encouraged me. Took a pay cut, found out my 91 year old mother is not doing well. Just slowly watching her waste away and die. This is hard and very sad. You see my mother is a great lady. She cared a lot for all of us - she was hit at 61 by a drunk driver and had 22 broken bones on her right side. They didn't think she would live or walk. She did both - so I have a lot of her determination. My dad before he died asked me to take care of her and my nephew. I have done both - my nephew is maried and now has his first child. He is wonderful and he appreciates me and my mom. My mom is very special and this is very sad and hard for me, but even now she worries about me and how I'm doing. Today she told me I looked tired and need to take it easy. That is my mom. Work became very stressful and busy during this time and it was nothing working 10-12 hours a day and week-ends. So I forgot to take care of me - I got down on me, beat me up when I didn't lose weight, wanted to quit. Finally started again at 226 and now am 214. Didn't lose any weight this week, but my attitude has changed. This is not a diet - we don't need to blame ourselves when we don't lose weight, we need to look at what we have done during the week. Maybe we didn't eat right, maybe we didn't excercise, maybe it is just our age, body, etc. This is not a diet, but a great journey to learn to eat healthy and live right.
Now that I have a great nephew I want to be there for him. I've lost inches, feel better, walk better - since I have a bad knee I need to watch it. But beacuse I don't have a lot of pain they won't do anything right now. So I exercise with that in mind. But I've changed me - I don't get discouraged when I don't lose, I try harder. I eat better and enjoy it. This is a great site and everyone has been so kind to me. I've learned so much. Went into stage four a bit scared that I won't get the help, but I have. It has been wonderful. My spark friends ahve become part of my family, I pray for all of you.
One thing I've learned that this journed will continue for my life and because of it I will be a better person. I went to my Doctor and she told me she is proud of me, I look happy, even with all my stress. I am you have all helped. This journed has helped me grow (wow at my age), and I will lose the weight I want and succeed. Sometimes we are the worst friend we have - never give up, believe in yourself, try and keep at it. We all will succeed. I know I will and I will keep you posted.