ARIAVIDYA

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Furry relaxation

Wednesday, May 20, 2009



These 3 loyal supporters, gentle giant Girl, Tuffy and Rupert (the purrer), were all once abandoned and neglected.

At first I got angry at the people for whom these pets became inconvenient and a burden. I despised their lack of responsibility, only thinking about themselves. After some thinking I felt ashamed of judging those people so harshly. I don't know their motivations or reasons. I do know that I have not been treating myself so well for a big part of my life and that I haven't been completely honest.

I am recovering from my addiction to the feeling of being needed. I neglected my own needs because I put the needs of others first. I would love to think and tell you that I am a caring, unselfish person or even a saint but the reality is that I am afraid...Afraid that my husband doesn’t need me anymore and will leave me for someone else (like my first ex), or dies and leave me behind, just like my parents…Scared that I have no purpose in life, and try to take my own life (like I have done in the past). So I rescued animals and people, creating situations where I was needed and had a purpose.

I am also a recovering food addict. I tell myself that food has me in a grip but I know that it is me who is holding on to food so firmly, to quieting my own fears and sense of discomfort, covering myself with a tick cozy blanket of denial.
So who I am to judge others...to assume to know people's motivations for abandoning these furry cuties...

All I know is that I am learning to take better care of my own needs and to deal with my fears. In the meantime I am enjoying our long walks, our happy cuddle and playtime, - and moments like in this picture…no fears…no stress or worries…just simply relaxing together.

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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • KARITIGER
    Wow talk about self aware.. you know yourself.. you are honest with yourself. that's awesome.. your pets are adorable in that picture.. I only have one cat.. a tabby named Tiger.. he's awesome.. I love him to pieces and I dunno what I'd do without him.. we need them just as much as they need us.. love makes the world go round so I know where you are coming from not wanting to be left behind or alone.. just remember if someone dies.. well they are always going to live on in our hearts.. I know that doesn't keep us from missing them .. but it's true.. I hope you find the answers you seek.. I have a feeling that you will or you have .. or you are.. emoticon
    4399 days ago
  • DERVISHJ
    Thanks for sharing; I'm glad you are learning how to move forward.
    emoticon
    4411 days ago
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