Thursday, May 14, 2009
I just came back from a 15 minute walk and a 5 minute jog. I did a little bit of walking and then a little bit of jogging and then went back to walking and did that back and forth until I got home. I'm starting to get faster when i run. Back in middle school when we did the mile run I was the girl that walked most of it due to my asthma, knee pain, and back pain. But when I did run during the mile in school I was pretty darn fast and a few students would come up and say that I'm fast when I run. I'm starting to get back to that where I'm mildly fast. The thing is I get tired very quickly because of carrying all this extra weight. My knees tend to hurt pretty quickly but I think that will go away when I get down to a smaller size. My knees don't hurt as much as they used to. I bet losing the 87lbs helped out a lot. I noticed after I finished my walk/jog I got cramps similar to the all mighty mestural cramp.... very weird since I already had that 2.5 days of hell. I wonder why I got that kind of cramp... oh well.
Oh also I've been looking into plus sized modeling companies. I have my eyes set on Ford Models Plus division. They accept people up to a size 18 so I need to lose another size to qualify. And also the highest hip measurement they accept is 51 which I already fit right now so yay on that. What discouraged me most was the highest waist measurement they accept is 35 3/4 and I'm WAY far off from that but it gives me goals to reach for. I may not be completely there yet for Ford Models but hey I'm close! I've always wanted to model and be in commercials and run ways and be part of the fashion world. I think more designers should offer plus sized clothes that look cute and just as hot and attractive as the skinny girls clothes. I personally don't think it's right or fair for designers to sit there and make clothes for plus sized girls hideous and ugly....we deserve to have cute clothes! Ah enough ranting haha anyways work it out girls and gents because we're all fabulous. If worse comes to worse we'll parade around naked.
I just realized the size 20 I'm at right now I don't think I've seen that size since i was at least 16 or 17. And my weight... haven't seen it that low since I was 14. I gained a lot of weightdue to stress and emotional stuff that happened to me in high school. I had a long distance boyfriend committ suicide when I was about 15. And then when I was 18 I was almost raped by a classmate who I had befriended because he was new to the area from out of state. So those 2 things plus a bunch of other stuff made me gain a good 80 pounds. Stress is a killer! So luckily I'm on Spark People for support and acceptance and love. There's a lot of amazing people on here and I'm so glad that I goined. Everyone I've talked to on here doesn't know much about me so I hope opening up about what I just mentioned helps you all understand me better. No I'm not making excuses for being over weight I'm just letting you all know that sometimes you gain weight and it's beyond your own personal control. There's times where your body reacts to emotional distress differently. Some lose weight when they're highly emotional and some gain weight. I was the gain a ton of weight girl sadly enough.... but it won't hold me down and I'll push through this.