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"Day" Is The Word That Follows "Mother"?

Sunday, May 10, 2009

I have often joked about motherhood and that hyphenated word containing "Mother". I wanted to soften the blow of how hard motherhood was . I became a mother first at age 20, and by the time I was 25, I had an infant, a 5-yr old and a 3-yr old, plus one miscarriage. I had to learn on-the-job, and it was stressful. I gained more weight coping with stress than I did with any pregnancy.

They were cute little girls, and I love them. But they used to fight, whine and holler "Mom" at me so much that I would scream back at them, "Don't call me MOM!" As a teen, one of them called me a bitch. When I yelled, "What?!!!", she replied loudly that she had said "ITCH". Shortly thereafter, we all began enjoying a TV commercial you may remember. "How can you get rid of that ANNOYING ITCH?" Needless to say, the girls ALL started calling me "ITCH' daily. Hey, I liked it better than 'MOM'. I related to Rosie on the Roseann Barr show who would proclaim that, at the end of the day, if the kids were alive, she had done her job. She also said, "Fat chicks eat cheese" to explain that she had no worries about osteoporosis. I did that, too. It paid off, in a way. My bone density is great.

We all survived. I'm proud of the intelligent, level-headed, independent women they have become. And I adore my grandchildren, whose mothers are much better equipped to raise children than I was. Being a child bride has its drawbacks.

TODAY, I'm enjoying family & food. My children all live in their own homes, thankfully, and I haven't been called "Mom" all day. We're grilling food in the back yard. By eating slowly & looking for signs that I'm satisfied (not stuffed),I plan to stay within my calorie (1200-1550)& nutrient ranges.

I mean business. I am determined to clean up my act & learn how to eat like people without weight problems. They're not stuffing their faces with giant portions, using holidays as excuses, as I have often done. They seem to be having a good time. That's where I intend to go, one step at a time.

As a mother, I will end my days of being a bad example to my 3 daughters. They have, with their smart mouths, told me "You can lose it, but you can't maintain it."

When I achieve my ultimate goal of a PERMANENT healthy lifestyle & weight, they will know that they & their children won't have to struggle with obesity, as they have watched me do. They will have hope for a happier future themselves, because they will also watch me find my way out of the quicksand.

Thanks to my SP friends for tossing me a rope or hand to hold onto as I gain strength from getting to know you. Weight loss challenges have not worked for me as much in the past as they do today. What makes the difference are my positive attitude, desire to reach my goals, and friendships that are developing with the SparkPeople who are participating in challenges with me. (I'm in two that will end the day before the 4th of July, & I've lost weight for 3 straight weeks---2, 2.4, and 1.6.) I know everyone in those challenges wants to make it "out" of our self-inflicted lockup. We will free ourselves. What we can accomplish by the 4th of July is a symbol we can look to, to nourish us for the rest of our journey.

I hope ALL of my SparkFriends enjoy today, celebrating the progress you have already made. If you make any decisions that you regret afterwards, please don't beat yourself up. That never helps. Just decide what you REALLY want, and get with it as soon as you can.

The POWERFUL thing about SparkPeople is friendship, not just tools and weight loss information.

ADDITIONAL NOTE: I tried to read this aloud to my daughters and I could barely see the words through my tears. One daughter said, "You've written about us and your weight before, why is this upsetting you?" My husband, who never fails to make me laugh, quickly said,"Because this time she means it."
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    Having raised four myself, I truly understand about the stress of Motherhood and feeling very victorious that we ALL survived THEIR childhoods! I remember telling my second child, who was 7.5 years younger than his older sister, that I had already rode that roller coaster puberty twice, my own and his sister's, and I'd be damned if I was gonna make THAT trip again! If he wanted to go off the deep end, he'd go by himself!

    I had to chuckle at being tired of hearing "Mom"! It sounds like your girls were like my kids - they never just said "Mom" they would stand there and repeat it until I could get off the phone, the toilet, out of the car, the bathtub what ever - they would stand there - "Mom" Mom" Mom". It was two or three years after all my children had left home that I was in the store, I was in a big hurry and very preoccupied and suddenly, a kid behind me was saying "Mom" "Mom" "Mom". I was instantly frustrated and I spun around and screamed "WHAAAAAT??" Only to be looking at someone ELSE's strange, frightened big twelve year old. I'm sure he is still in therapy!

    You and I both know - the best way our children learn from us is by example. We can preach, talk, beg, hope, threaten, bribe - but nothing - not anything, is as strong as - THIS is the RIGHT way, I KNOW it is, because THAT is the way my MOTHER did it! Happy Mother's Day!
    3300 days ago

    Comment edited on: 5/10/2009 7:41:00 PM
    Smile. Like this blog.
    You are doing a super job, you are mapping your ride, and taking an awesome journey to health.

    3300 days ago
    Lots of chuckles here as I read this entry, Barbara! We don't have children, and I got married at age 25. When I read about all the stressful responsibility you were carrying at that tender age, my figurative hat was off to you! You're obviously a terrific and cherished mom, "itch" moniker and all. I'm a strong believer that we can make dramatic, healthy changes in our lives right up to our very last day. So, that permanent ultimate goal you seek - a healthy lifestyle and weight - is well within our reach, and Barbara, we're getting there - choice by choice. Happy Mom's Day! I'll bet the backyard BBQ was lots of fun! - Sara emoticon
    3300 days ago
    WOW! Again, I love your honesty and your wit! I can so relate...I have three sons and I have watched them get fat as adolescents and cheered them as they lost the this day they struggle but more often than not, they succeed! I now try to be THEIR example...)I have strugled all my life with obesity and have been a human yo-yo) They are now my greatest inspiration (they are 26,24,and 21) and my biggest boosters outside of SparkPeople. Thank You for your blog and your insight...Have a Happy Mother's Day!
    3300 days ago
  • _MAOMAO_
    That is the neatest story! I was born when my Mom was 20, she says they survived cuz my Dad was 6 years older and he was more mature. My next little brother was born 3 1/2 yrs later. The next 2 didn't come along for 10 more years. Ah, she's stronger than she knows. So are you! Hope you're having a fantastic, wonderful, full-of-love day!
    3300 days ago

    Comment edited on: 5/10/2009 4:17:06 PM
  • MAUREEN19640824
    emoticon What a nice story. Happy Itch Day to you too!

    3300 days ago
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