Fantastic thursday!

Thursday, May 07, 2009

My eldest teen is home from university. she is just passing through tho on her way for a friends weekend shopping in a neighbouring city.

She is a cheerleader for a CFL football team and telling me about all the things she has done with them, and all of the things she will be doing with them over the season.

She also cheers for her university and did lots of travelling throughout the year for her sport. She is a flyer, she is one of the tiny girls at the top being tossed around and doing flips.

She was practicing her signature to make it simple and quick as the cheerleaders calender is coming out soon and she will be needing to sign her month page on the ones she sells.

As I sat beside her listening to her tell, and watching her face change with the stories and excitement of her journey, I became quiet inside. My mind staying with her and my body staying with her, as my imagination travelled to my 19th year, my journey through those years was so different than hers...not worse or better just completely different.

I am almost 41, my time seems to have been so fleetingly fast, my tiny daughters now women, walking through the life they have decided was going to be right for them. My toddlers, exploring the new things and every new word little Michael says, everytime quiet, solitary Monica laughs, my heart grabbing and squeezing my insides with... I 'm not sure what it is.

I reconsider my plans for weight loss, and fitness, and looking sexy,
Why not just be fat? Why not just focus on my family,my adult children, my toddlers, my silver fox and build a life for us that does not include me spending time worrying about weight? obsessing over how I look?

I think I have a very nice look about my fat body, soft, round, thick, happy.

It may be past time for me to be the sexy one, time for my tiny daughters, now women to be the sexy ones, time for me to consider things in life, health and love that are not surrounded by the need to be something that I am not.

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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    You can best be there for your family if you are there for yourself. Be sexy. You are never too old. Be slender. It will help you feel good. But most of all be healthy. So you will be there for them for a long, long time.

    You just joined The Secret Team. Remember you can do, be, and have anything you want. You can be sexy, slender and healthy and still be there for the people you love. Manifest your heart's desire!!
    3276 days ago
    hey beks

    hwo are u today? Hope u r feeling better than last time...
    don't give up and just get back on that horse u were doing so fantastic
    let's go..... go ..... go ....

    love Cher emoticon
    3295 days ago
    You are a beautiful woman when you are overweight, underweight and right on the spot. It is very good to move towards acceptance and know that obsessing over how you look or how others perceive you (sexy or not, ideal or not) is not what your time on earth is all about. I wholeheartedly agree that you should leave the obsessive mental chatter behind. However, changing your focus to a commitment to health will help us to be here for those who love us and count on us to listen, care, love and witness their stories and accomplishments as they grow older and have their own children. My father died when he was 60 years old. He never met my daughter. The reason is that he made thousands of little daily choices along the way which led him to early heart failure, several near deaths, pace maker, and finally death. This is not a gift to your children or grandchildren.
    3307 days ago
    Sounds like you are a very proud Mom. AND I'm betting you also want to be a very healthy Mom, a Mom who sets an example for her daughters as they age. I know, I have reached an age that it is no longer about being skinny or sexy like I was at 20, it's about being the best I can be and being as healthy as I can be. As we get older, our bodies have enough to deal with without also dealing with extra fat!
    Thanks for a great Blog and Happy Sparking.
    3307 days ago
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