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Wednesday, May 06, 2009

I have here a MIRACLE PILL that will help you lose weight! That's right folks - need to lose 5, 25, or even 100 pounds?!? Than look no further, I have your answer in this little white pill that is in my hands! Now I know what you are thinking, how can this be? Well, it's quite simple folks - I found a space-age technology that can ZAP fat right out of your body! That's right - it ZAPS THE FAT RIGHT OUT OF YOUR BODY!!!
Have you ever seen a fat alien - well have you?
Of course not, that's because they know the secret. And I, with my interplanetary diplomatic skills, got the secret out of them!
This pill does amazing things. You can eat as much as you want, whenever you want to and STILL LOSE WEIGHT!!!
Still not convinced?
I will send you a CAMERA-READY copy of testimonials of FAMOUS CELEBS who have taken my product!
Not convinced yet?
Well, maybe you should see the ad we have in REDBOOK, that's right, REDBOOK! If it's an ad in REDBOOK, then IT MUST BE TRUE!!!!!
All I am asking for is $49.99 for 50 pills!!!!! That's a BARGAIN! I am actually LOSING money from this deal and you are LOSING weight! So what do you have to lose???
And to further sweeten this deal, I will give you a MONEY-BACK guarantee - if you don't like the pills, just send the unopen container back for a full refund, minus the $25.00 shipping and handling fee.
So what are you waiting for, ORDER TODAY!!!!!!!!!!!

Directions for the pills:
Take two with 3 quarts of water.
Eat no more than 1000 calories a day, most of it celery.
Exercise for 120 minutes each day, make it mostly running, fast running. As in I-can-win-a-marathon running.
Drink 3 more quarts of water.
Try not to pass out from all of the exercise and lack of food.
Get gastric-bypass.
Drink more water.
Go and get lypo and a tummy-tuck.
Drink more water.
Go to sleep and start over again tomorrow!
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