SparkPoints

I'm blowing it!

Tuesday, May 05, 2009

I am so incredibly frustrated with my eating habits lately. Since I started exercising in late February it's basically been a free-for-all. I am so stinkin' hungry all the time! I know I'm probably not eating enough, but because I have gotten out of the habit of planning out my food the night before, I come home and eat "crap" that I know I should not be eating. Then, I justify it because I've worked out.

As much as I love having the Heart Rate Monitor (HRM), it's added another dimension that I hadn't considered. Get this...because I know how many calories I've burned, I AGAIN justify all of these little snacks that I should NOT be eating!! The crazy thing is that I am immediately pissed off at myself. Every Sunday night, I'll tell myself that I'm going to work out my eating schedule for the week so that I avoid these pitfalls, but Sunday comes and go and nothing, nada! Sigh.

I have been working out like a nut-case! I could be down a lot of weight by now. I'm not minimizing the success I've had to date, but clearly the self-sabotage that's going on has got to stop! I have not been keeping my food journal at all and I know it's the one thing that helped keep me on track. I have got to start writing it all down again and quit messing around. Jeez!!

The truth is I am so sick and tired of counting calories! I've been at this since November 1st and it's getting really old. I'm bored with the food, but don't really know how to fix that. I just don't have the energy I had before to revisit my food choices and come up with new ones. I emailed the nutritionist at the weight loss center that I go to and asked her for some help. I just wanted her take on what to eat so that I could maintain muscle mass and lose fat. She was so wishy washy that I didn't even respond to her email other than "Thank you for responding to my email." That was it! She clearly has no idea how to help someone who's lifting weights and wants to maintain muscle mass. She even went so far to say that she really would not recommend P90X for most people. This woman probably weighs 98 lbs and has about 20 lbs of lean muscle mass! Seriously.

Boy, I could really use someone like Jillian Michaels or Bob Harper in my life. I know I need to just reread Burn the Fat Feed the Muscle and get to work, but I am just tired. I don't want to go through the "trial and error" that you have to go through to figure out what works for you. I just don't. So, I keep doing what I've been doing, but my boredom is going to get the best of me, I can just tell. I am so close, but yet so very far!

The contest ends in less than 2 weeks and honestly haven't progressed as far as I had hoped in terms of my eating habits. I have really got to get this under control (not in a neurotic way) before I end up letting the weight creep back up. That is NOT going to happen!

Heidi

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REDBUTTERFLY2
Wow, since joining SP, your blog is the first that i can connect with. I feel exactly the same way. I am so tired of counting calories and having to write everything in a journal, and with my busy schedule I sometimes dont have the time.

But as BETTERJULIA said, take a shot and email Bob or Jillian, who knows.........

Dont give up, please dont give up, dont let all your hard work go to waste.

4362 days ago
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BETTERJULIA
I think that we sometimes just need to take a step back and listen to our bodies...counting calories is important but sometimes we just need to listen to what our bodies are saying...if you make those extra snacks healthy and they keep you from being starving they're fine. I know that you will figure this out because you have such a determination...you know email Bob or Jillian...take that shot in the dark and maybe you'll get an answer. Keep up your great work and think about the foods you enjoy and work those into your diet. You rock!
4363 days ago
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BETTERJULIA
I think that we sometimes just need to take a step back and listen to our bodies...counting calories is important but sometimes we just need to listen to what our bodies are saying...if you make those extra snacks healthy and they keep you from being starving they're fine. I know that you will figure this out because you have such a determination...you know email Bob or Jillian...take that shot in the dark and maybe you'll get an answer. Keep up your great work and think about the foods you enjoy and work those into your diet. You rock!
4363 days ago
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CD704044
I hope this helps.....It really helped me!

When you've eaten too much and you can't write it down,
And you feel like the biggest failure in town.
When you want to give up just because you gave in,
And forget all about being healthy and thin.
So what! You went over your points a bit,
It's your next move that counts...So don't you quit!
It's a moment of truth, it's an attitude change.
It's learning the skills to get back in your range.
It's telling yourself, "You've done great up till now.
You can take on this challenge and beat it somehow."
It's part of your journey toward reaching your goal.
You're still gonna make it, just stay in control.
To stumble and fall is not a disgrace
If you summon the will to get back in the race.
But, often the strugglers, when loosing their grip,
Just throw in the towel and continue to slip.
And learn too late when the damage is done,
That the race wasn't over...they still could have won.
Lifestyle change can be awkward and slow,
But facing each challenge will help you grow.
Success is failure turned inside out,
The silver tint in a cloud of doubt.
When you're pushing to the brink, just refuse to submit,
If you bite it, you write it...But DON'T YOU QUIT!
-Author Unknown

I know you will get back on track!

Hugs Debbie
4363 days ago
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KIRKSADIE
I think we are in same boat! I have not lost any weight but 3 # and i am getting discouraged! I dont eat the greatest foods, but I have cut WAY down, and I am starving!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ALL THE TIME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I just had a snack at 11:30 and it is now 12:08 and I am ready for lunch and so the day goes... I need a Bob HArper too. I workout and still nothing comes off, what am I doing wrong?!?!?!
Keep your chin up I know it is frustrating, but stick with it, you know you want to!
4363 days ago
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H3HOUND
Its really OK to take a break; its not OK to beat yourself up. This is suppose to be a lifestyle and you don't want a frustrating lifestyle! I like the Burn the Fat Feed the Muscle thing - its interesting. True, you can eat more the more you work, just don't go crazy. Its not suppose to be, "I workout so I don't have to change my bad habits" - been there done that. Preaching to choir here, I am sure. Hang in there!
4363 days ago
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CBUFFY
Totally! You are actually doing awesome - what with adding all that exercise!

This week we are doing a mini challenge of tracking food and exercise - join us! I hate counting calories - so I let the tracker do it for me! And it really is powerful when you see what your good choices mean and what your less informed choices can add up to.

I second the recommendation to try out the recipes here on the site. There are some really good ones! Diet Coke chicken is fast, easy, and delish. VERY low cal too. So is the balsamic vinegar chicken one, and even the brown sugar garlic chicken. (seeing a trend? LOL)

You can do this - we're here for you.........
4363 days ago
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CSIENK
I can read how frustrated you are, but look how far you've come! Take a deep breath and re-think your options. You obviously made a decision to live a new healthy lifestyle and you certainly don't want to go back on that, do you? So perhaps you just decide that a little boredom comes with helping make your body the best it can be. I think you should take your own advice and reread your book. Maybe that will give you just the lift you need. Also - maybe a "cheat" day would work for you. I'm not exactly sure what it entails except maybe you take one day a week where you just don't worry about counting the calories so much and then the next day you're back on.

Whatever you decide - hang in there!
4363 days ago
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SHLUMPY1
Heidi, you have come too far to give up now. There are some really great recipes here that you might try. I know that means looking them up and coming up with the time to prepare them but something new may relieve the boredom. I have tried some of the recipes and even things that I would not normally eat are really good. My favorites are crock pot recipes. I can scratch out 10 mins to throw something in the crock pot. Sometimes I throw everything in the night before and then stick it in the frig. All I have to do then is put it on the next day. I can not even imagine how hungry you must be with all of the exercise that you do!! When I first started exercising I felt really hungry all of the time. But again, you are really doing great and you are really an inspiration to me and I am sure countless others. Hang in there. I am here cheering you on.
4363 days ago