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~being married doesnt guarantee your heart wont ever hurt~

Sunday, April 26, 2009

for the past 3 days i have been crying pretty much non stop.so my eyes r very sore.with my husband being a truck driver its hard on the both of us.he has always been the confident one.i am always the one with the issues.i have no self esteem what so ever.and at that certain time of the month.i usually get a little..well..down,and irritated.but this time it is just insane! i have been having weird thoughts about my husband ,and i not making it.that we will fail as husband ,and wife.that he just plain and simple just doesnt want me.so i seen him last night,he got to come home for the night.and we talked,apparently he doesnt understand y i am feeling this way.so today b4 he left out,he cupped my face,and told me he knows we will be together forever.then he kissed me,told me he loves me.and for me to stop crying.well i was fine.now..not so much.my mind is racing yet again! i dont know what my problem is.but i have a doctor appt. tues.u better believe i will be sayin doc..HELP! lol!

while my dh was home,he was telling me how good i looked,that i was getting so thin ,and trim.he says,"u dont need to lose anymore weight."i said.. oh yes i do,i still need to lose like 80 pounds.

then he asks me y am i on the computer so much.well im on spark.but i didnt expect to hear what he said next..
i asked him if he ever questioned if i was faithful while he was on the road?(i wouldnt ask,but i needed to figure out y i was feeling so low) he says YES.i ask him y?he says he thinks i talk to other guys,like a few!! this is totally insane! i am the most loyal person there could possibly be.i have never heard him talk like this b 4.i dont know y he thinks this way.he use to be the confident one.i was really hoping the more weight i lost the more confident i would be.not yet..i guess i will have to wait and see.if anyone can relate to any of this,please feel free to give me some advice.god bless my spark family....christina emoticon
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  • no profile photo CD2244005
    Men seemed to be wired differently than women! They see their loved one losing weight, getting healthier, taking more care with their appearance, and immediately they think, "Who are they doing that for?" and not, "Wow, they really love me to want to change for the better!" Go figure! emoticon And as he has a job that keeps him away for long periods of time, it's probably something he obsesses about. Just be patient with him, tell him you love him, and you're doing it for the good of the whole family.

    As for the mood swings, definitely ask the doctorwhat could be causing it. He'll notice that you've been losing weight ( emoticon ) and perhaps if you take any medication on a daily basis, might have to scale down the dosage to go with the lesser weight.

    Chin up! Things will get better!

    emoticon emoticon emoticon

    4435 days ago
    It will take some time but things will get better. It may take a while after you have lost all of your weight for him to realize that you are not going anywhere, but it will happen. As I have mentioned in past blogs of yours, my husband thinks that I am gonna get skinny and leave him too. That's their confidence issue, not ours. There is nothing we can ever do to make them feel otherwise. If our dear husbands will look inside of themselves they will realize that we are here to stay. Thick or thin, we are gonna be here. And yes, him being out on the road, of course he wonders. There's nothing we can do about that either. No one should have to live each day thinking that their husband or wife is going to leave them for someone else. It's not healthy and it's not making anyone happy.

    I am sorry that you are not happy right now, but I know it will get better for both of you. Trust is the number 1 thing in a relationship. It can make it or break it. If you don't have trust, you have nothing, so try to take it easy and just follow what you know is in your heart.

    A dream is a wish your heart makes
    When you're fast asleep
    In dreams you will lose your heartaches
    Whatever you wish for, you keep

    Have faith in your dreams and someday
    Your rainbows will come smiling through
    No matter how your heart is grieving
    If you keep on believing
    the dream that you wish will come true

    A dream is a wish your heart makes
    When you're feeling small
    Alone in the night you whisper
    Thinking no one can hear you at all
    You wake with the morning sunlight
    To find fortune that is smiling on you
    Don't let your heart be filled with sorrow
    For all you know, tomorrow
    The dream that you wish will come true

    4436 days ago
  • no profile photo CD5058926
    You sound like you may be depressed. Medication has helped me a huge amount, please talk to your doctor. From what you wrote about your husband, he sounds like he loves you very much. It's not unusual for men to worry that their wives might be cheating, especially if you have been losing weight. Men have their own insecurities and fears, and that's ok. Just hang in there. Best of luck to you! :)
    4436 days ago
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