barn owl

Friday, April 24, 2009

we had just gotten out of class and i was complaining. (i'm always complaining)
this time it was because my group project is due next week and i'm the only one with any work done on it. well that's not true actually, everyone has information they just don't have information on the right thing. it's a multicultural education class and we're supposed to present ways to include african americans in the classroom besides february (black history month) and like martin luthar king jr's birthday. so their information is: pictures of traditional african clothing, food from africa, and games from africa where you play with like a hoop and a spear.
that's just the exact opposite of what we're supposed to be doing, as that just reinforces sterotypes and arghgh it just makes me mad. but i don't really care because this teacher grades super easy and we're all going to get A's, probably. if i've learned anything about college and life so far, nothing really matters. freddy mercury was right.

so we're walking to the bike rack when i see this flash of white. that usually means a barn owl and i rarely catch glimpses of them these days living in folsom. so i point and we awe and i gush and i'm thinking "what a magnificent creature" and DONK it hits the window of the school. and flies away kind of confused. which brought the awe out of it, you know?
and coburn goes "that owl was a metaphor for our love."
kinda makes sense.

on an even more boring note:
tomorrow is a weigh-in day, and if i'm still 118 (but i'm rounding up the ounces, so if i'm 118.5 or 118.6, then that may as well be 119 and doesn't count) then i get a big ol' happy LOST 20 POUNDS WITH SPARKPEOPLE icon. and that would be the day to celebrate, really!!
so i still have at least 3 pounds to lose before my birthday, june 14. and as a gift to me coburn's losing 5 by then as well. so it's like we have a shared goal. i feel so loved. :)
really though, he's so motivating and good to me. i'm lucky to have someone who listens to all my boring always-about-nutrition-or-heal
th shouts. "hey thomas jefferson invented the pedometer." "wow i just learned something really cool about glucose!" "wanna try this really low calorie low fat cheese?" and he's totally cool with it and gets all excited and tells me how great i'm doing. *sigh*
and then i kick him out of the room when he gets all breathing behind my neck reading my blogs. what a punk.

and i'm not sure about my original goal of be 110. i think i'm afraid to do it. i think i was afraid to even reach my original goal of 118, because then i wouldn't have anything to work for. so i just f&*(ed up for a week and regained and lost the same like 3 pounds. but 115 is a doable goal, and i can get past that fear.

i don't really know what i'm afraid of, i just know that there's a heart scared. and i tell myself i can't possibly lose another ten pounds anyways. and maybe that's true, but i can lose another three and go from there. if i can't LOSE more, then at least i can focus on strength training.

i'm just going to have to start a different sticker program, because that seems to be all that works for me. so 2 or 3 times per week i need to get a star sticker, which means i did 15 minutes of strength training. i just don't have any dumbells and i think pushups are boring.

oh, and the semesters ending so i won't be going to kickboxing anymore. :(

but coburn won a 30 day free fitness pack to the local 24 hour fitness so i'm covered for a month. but i need to find something else to fill in those extra cardio days ..... one cannot run all of the time. i might join a walking group....

i'm bored. but that barn owl had me laughing. lol-ing, even.
i thought i was going to stop smoking, but i guess i was wrong. off i go.
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