shock and awe(ful) weigh-in...

Wednesday, April 15, 2009

Stepped on the scale this was gruesome.

I knew I was walking into enemy territory when I decided to weigh myself, and I knew it wasn't going to be pretty. I made the decision to go in, alone. I steeled myself, keeping my breathing steady, concentrating on each step into the bathroom. Just one step at a time. I could do this. I concentrated on the lines in the linoleum, and tried to keep my heart rate steady.

I know when going into battle, training and consistency are key. Slowly, methodically, I reached down to take the scale out of the closet, lining it up on the floor in the exact place I put it each and every time, the top of the scale is up against the line in the linoleum next to the door. The readout is centered, just where it is supposed to be.

I take a deep breath and remove the heavy robe (I know it will add at least a pound). I step onto the scale.

HOLY MOTHER OF MOSES!!!! WHAT JUST HIT ME!!! The number that came before my eyes was like nothing I could have imagined. My head was swimming, my vision blurred, my heart rate could have put an olympic athlete into the Heart Center, I couldn't breath! How could that be the number I was seeing.

I rubbed my eyes to clear them, my mind started to clear. I thought of all of the ham, salty potatoes, chocolate truffles, chocolate covered pretzels, jelly beans -- it was a barrage of calorie warfare that just did me in! I hadn't seen that number on the scale for months, and it is back. How could I have let the enemy ambush me this way?

I have returned to headquarters, and after extensive analysis, I have discovered that my life had been infiltrated by a double agent long before Easter. The Agent would authorize a snack here, a treat there, allow a reduction in water intake and encourage the neglect of calorie-tracking and regular workouts. The Agent must be identified, and removed from strategic command, or this war will never end.

I know I have lost a major siege, but this war has just begun. Time to pull back, look at who my allies are, and who my enemies are. Get back to basic training. Time to root out The Agent once and for all, but I know deep down inside, The Agent is me.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • IMANI4000
    Faduck, from your lips to God's ears!!!! I hope that is what happens for me.

    4301 days ago
    It's like we are the same people, only you are a better writer! I did the same thing - exactly. I'm getting back on the wagon. Right now. Today. Onward and downward.
    4301 days ago
    My theory is that a huge pigout every once in a long while resets the fat burners so that if you hit it hard the next week you'll end up better off than where you started. Im sure others will disagree, but for me that has seemed to be the case. In fact, when weight loss stalls, I sometimes just go on a big binge for a day, and while I might gain two pounds from the pig out, the next few days will have me down three or four.
    4302 days ago
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