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My Heaviest Pics

Wednesday, April 08, 2009

After seeing some friends posting their heaviest pics I decided it was time to open those email attachments I have avoided and look at some still can't believe I was this big.
I have some pics from a family function in November and over christmas in December and wow.....comparing them to Christmas 2007 I had gained A LOT of weight in 1 year! Seriously probably the last 80lbs were gained in 1 year.

Anyways I was posting these as I have another dilemma to face.....The function in November was actually at a waterpark.
Well I am/was a lifeguard swim instructor and we have to get all of our awards 'recertified' every 2 years. Well mine are all due to expiry end of May. The last time I did the recert 2 years ago it was super embarassing (I wore a t-shirt) and struggled to complete all the lifeguarding skills. I stopped lifeguarding just after this 2 years ago. Now I have to decide if I should recertify all these awards, or if I'm still too embarassed to go through with this? I would really like to wait another year, and maybe do it then, and practice and train before hand.......
Ahhhh, another tough decision...why do I care so much what others think of me NOW and not before?
I have a 5 year 'grace' period after they all expire to be able to recertify during this 5 year period without having to redo all the courses......but I just can't work as a lifeguard while they are expired....which I am not doing anyway......
Anyways it bothers me that I am still this unconfortable, but I am working on it. I think I would like to be able to go swimming next summer maybe? Ahhhh.....I don't know WHY I care so much what others say....but clearly I do.....
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    I read everyone elses comments and honestly, I agree with everything they say and couldn't say it better! I don't know HOW I know this, but I KNOW you are such a great person, I can tell by how you express yourself in your email and by your smile! YOU have nothing to worry about regarding what people will think of you because your character outshines everything else. I love what Shining said and it really touched me for my own life. We can't put life aside just because we aren't happy with ourselves, because we could lose weight and get down to our ideal weight....and still not be happy! (I know I won't, with extra, hang-y skin, ick!) But hey, I'll take the hang-y skin over being miserable and unhappy as a big gal! You should do the lifeguard thing!
    3506 days ago
    You know...I think you've already answered this "dilema" just have to trust in the answer! :)
    You've already come such a long way...and I know it's still hard...I know there are still sooo many hurdles, emotionally and physically, to overcome...but there is nothing that will fall in your path that you will be unable to's not even about can just triumph mightily over anything! WE all see that in you! And if you should care about anyone's opinion but your should be ours! HAHAHA emoticon

    Yeah, I'm not one to talk about not caring about what other people's always easier to give the medicine than take it in that aspect, lol...but you are right on the verge of a major break through there! It's only human nature to be concerned about other's thoughts...we can't really control that...but we can control how we use those thoughts. We can use them for motivation even. Think of how powerful it can be to prove someone wrong if you think they don't think you can do something!
    and Shining is right...if we wait until we are 100% satisfied, we'll never do anything. And, then, there's always the "why put off tomorrow what you can accomplish today..." and a slew of other motivational sayings we could throw out there...

    but it all comes down to what will make yourself happy!

    Whether you decide to do it soon or wait...know that we're all behind you and know that you can do it!

    But no one can fault you for being concerned/worried about other's opinions...anyone who says they haven't felt that way is a fool or a liar! lol But I hope you know that you are 10 times a better person than anyone that would think negatively of you for doing something you enjoy!

    3512 days ago
  • ~*SHINING*~
    I always say that you should not put off life until your body is just the way you want it, because lets be honest, no human is ever 100% happy with what they are looking at in the mirror every day. I think you should go for it! You are taking amazing strides in bettering yourself and you shouldn't put things off because of what someone else might think of you. What they think has more to do with their own issues and insecurities than it does with you anyway!
    3512 days ago
    I'm literally reaching through the laptop and giving you a huuuuge hug emoticon It's such a big psychological step you've taken by getting those pictures out there and such a positive thing to do. Say goodbye to that person because that's not you. You're that swimmer doing 50 lengths with no problems and feeling great after. You're that person in control and loving yourself and life.
    I love swimming too and used to swim for my local club, I know how you feel about getting back in there. It is tough but you can do it. Maybe try going really early or really late when it's quietest?
    I think most people feel uncomfortable in one way or another and that's part of the reason why we're here on SP doing something about it. Swimming again will make you feel great and it's such a great way to tone up and great cardio. You'll know when the time is right and that feeling of accomplishment will be awesome.
    3513 days ago
    Well I am not one to talk because we all know how I feel about my heaviest picture and it took me over 8 months to post it. However honeslty its far more important how people percieve your character than it is how they view your outward appearance. You are a great guy with great character, and honestly if people can;t see that they are blind.

    As for the lifegaurding thing, it seems to be one of your passions. Passions are a personal thing, so I say go for it if it will make YOU happy and forget about anyone else!
    3513 days ago
    Pros and Cons sheet, Buddy...factoring out what others think. You are a wise young man. I want to hear what you've decided. (Please don't let others make your decision for you.)

    God bless,
    3513 days ago
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