Down Again

Thursday, April 02, 2009

So I visited the doctor for my kids' well-care appointments today, to get their shots up-to-date essentially, and the doctor made a comment about we could all use more exercise, especially me. I was so upset that I didn't say a word, and now I feel miserable. I'm sad that he either doesn't remember that I've dropped fifty pounds in the last year, or he doesn't feel that I'm working hard enough. I've been feeling bad because I haven't worked out in the last week, because my stomach has been aching the whole time. (I'm pretty sure they're cramps--I hear it's a lovely PCOS thing that I can have cramps for two lovely weeks, and I hear that I should be grateful that it's not worse.) I've been trying to keep as active as possible in the meantime, but I still feel bad that I haven't gotten an "official" workout--really, really bad and guilty, actually. Additionally, I feel horrible that I can't seem to match the weight loss I had last year. I can't even manage a pound a week, and at this rate I will NEVER reach goal, which isn't even as low as I wanted to go. I feel terribly depressed. I know that it's not about the weight. I know that it's about the health. And I LOVE how healthy I feel, and how strong. So why is it that a stupid comment like this can make me so miserable? Why am I still so obsessed with weight?
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    Thank you! I'm having a lot of trouble with looking for approval from other people, you're right about that. BTW, I love your avatar, it's absolutely beautiful!
    4356 days ago
    That must have hurt to have the doctor say something like that to you. You let those types of comment get to you because you are looking outside yourself for approval. If I were you (and I know that is easy to say) I would not try to take it to heart, remember they only send a few minutes with us but we spend a lifetime with ourselves. You know what you have done and are doing. I think it is better to loss weight slowly so our bodies have time to adjust to the changes. If you not feeling good about yourself maybe you need to do a little self pampering to let yourself know how much you love yourself. To loss 50 pound in an year is doing great. I have only lost 22 in about 2 years. You keep up the great work and love yourself. Brightest blessings and warm hugs from California.
    4356 days ago
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