Following the path
Friday, March 27, 2009
So I think in an earlier post I mentioned that I'd discovered this lovely little trail not far from my house. I went down there today to walk--and while walking, decided to jog. I managed a mile in 13:15. Not too shabby considering I haven't been at it since November. I'm feeling good about that. It was nice to get back into it, to feel THAT tired. I was content with walking the remaining three or so miles at a moderate pace.
I did some reflecting on that trail, thinking about my journey and comparing it to my experience while on the trail: you know, living with the uncertainty of not knowing what's ahead, all that corny metaphor stuff. :) But it really did speak to me. I'm an anxious person by nature, but once I really let go and relaxed on that trail, paused to take some pictures of the view, enjoyed soaking in some of the smells, the sounds of the water--REALLY EXPERIENCED the trail, it was a nice refreshing reminder of what that old addage-- "It's not about the destination but about the journey"--really means. Sometimes the best thing you can do about the anxiety of an uncertain trail is to take your mind off of it by enjoying what's around you in the here and now.
Anyway, it was a lovely walk on a lovely, early spring day. I've been struggling a bit emotionally lately--something I attribute to my refusal to let myself overeat, overdrink, or over-ANYTHING in an effort to numb out, escape, not feel. And so I'm allowing the tears and not even feeling so bad about them. I'm letting them come, I'm experiencing the pain of them, and I'm letting them pass. I'm enjoying what they're teaching me about myself and celebrating that each time I'm crying, I'm letting something out instead of shoving it back with food or some other self destructive behavior. But... it's draining. It was lovely to get a bit recharged today.
An evening off--and then a weekend full of work. My countdown is on--40 days left to go before it's over and done. I'm ready for the next phase of things--in so many ways!
Have a great weekend everybody.