Weight loss--loss being the key word here.
Thursday, March 26, 2009
So I stepped on the scale today, and it looks like I'm down another pound. Okay, well my weight fluctuates like crazy (I drink a ton of water but I always weigh myself in the mornings so who knows?) So I'm at a new recent low. I was so excited I did a little dance. Then I got on SP to log my new weight. It's actually only .6lbs less than my last lowest, which was one month ago. So this means that I've lost half a pound in one month.
Granted, I haven't been trying too hard. I cheat a lot, and I don't exercise. So I guess the fact that I've lost anything is good. But the thing is that I actually want to lose weight! This is not a time to maintain! I'm getting married in a year! I want to look good in my wedding dress! Hell, I've even told myself I can't try on a wedding dress until I lose at least 20 lbs. It's really depressing, because I want to try one on, but I don't want the first wedding dress I try on to be plus size, so I'm making myself wait.
Trying to find something to be excited about, I measured myself. It looks as though I've lost an inch each off of my waist and hips. So there is the actual accomplishment.
I'm off work today because I have to come in and do some work Saturday and Sunday, so I'm going to work out because I have no excuse not to. It's been a few weeks since I've Turbo Jammed, so we'll see how long I last. Then maybe later today I can go take the dog for a walk. My excuses for not working out every other normal day are because I don't get enough sleep at night and I'm too tired to wake up and work out before work, and when I come home at night I'm too hungry to work out and want to fix dinner right away and just lounge the rest of the night. Since I know I'm much more likely to work out in the evening than I am at night, I'm going to try to have a snack before I leave work or right when I come home so that I can at least work out in the evenings. Besides, I prefer to shower at night anyway, and when I work out in the mornings that means I shower the previous night, wake up, work out, and shower again before work.
I think if I push myself a little harder on this diet thing (because I'm trying to teach myself to make better choices, eat smaller portions, and have regulars meals in order to make a lifestyle change--not just to see results) and I start exercising, I should be able to lose this weight finally!
This whole time I've been feeling like I've been making small strides here and there. I've gotten a lot better about learning how to budget my calories and which choices to make. It's all a learning process, and it's coming pretty slowly for me. I think back at where I was a year ago, two years ago, whenever, and realize that I have learned a lot. I might not have lost the weight to prove it, but I know now that the mental process has to change first, and then the physical change will come.