Confessions of a Sneaker
Monday, March 23, 2009
Have you ever been doing something and simultaneously observing yourself doing that thing and wishing you weren't? Yet somehow you can't stop yourself? Yesterday, I found myself being RIDICULOUS. I don't know why I did it. I have no reason. As I was doing it, I was thinking, "You don't want to be doing this. Stop! STOP!" But I kept right on going. We'll call it temporary insanity.
How many calories is insane? Oh, somewhere in the neighborhood of 3,500.
Granted, I probably ate that EVERY day before joining SparkPeople. But now having a day like that seems nuts and totally counterproductive. Where did the extra calories come from?
- I directed a drama at church, so I was there from 6:30am - noon. I ate three donuts and a little bag of peanuts while I was there. I'd like to say the donuts were spread out, but two of them were in the span of five minutes, and I kind of snuck them. Lame, I know. I've always been a food sneaker and a mini-binger. Boo.
- Baby shower! I had just eaten a PBJ for lunch, but I thought, "Oh, I'll just have a little something." So I had a bit of Mexican dip, a mini ham and cheese sandwich, some fruit salad, and a honkin' piece of chocolate cake with frosting. Boo.
- Despite the baby shower splurge, I told myself I was hungry for dinner. We went to a Mexican place, and I had a combo platter with a taco, a quesadilla, and rice and beans. After the taco, I was pretty much full, but I still ate the quesadilla and a few spoonfuls of rice and beans. Why? I felt so miserable when we left the restaurant that I had to put on my pajama pants when we got home. Triple boo!
I can't remember the last time I ate so much I didn't feel well. It's been quite some time! Yesterday was truly heinous. At least I think so. There was a time when I wouldn't have thought so. There was a time when I'd have come home and STILL looked for something to eat.
Now if I could only get past sneaking food. Anyone else struggle with that? I've done that my whole life, pretty much. And I don't know why I hide it from my husband. I'm a grown up. I can eat whatever I want. When I was pregnant, I hid boxes of Swiss Cake Rolls in with my scrapbooking stuff. That was the one time I DIDN'T have to hide stuff! Pregnant ladies can eat whatever they want!
Side note: I went to Rally's one day and ordered a Rallyburger, and when I pulled up, the guy saw I was pregnant and said, "How far along are you? Seven months? And you're sure you only want one Rallyburger?" I could have ordered THREE and he would have understood.
What is it that makes me want to sneak food? At home, at church. I've kept boxes of chocolates and bags of candy hidden in my dresser. I know just how to sneak something and put it back so it doesn't look like it was touched. I know how to cover up wrappers or packaging in the trashcan. It's an art that I've been perfecting for almost twenty years, probably. How do I get over this?
Suggestions are welcome!