For Maya

Friday, March 13, 2009

LOL, Maya you are amazing. I bet you wouldn't believe I've wanted someone like you in my life for YEEEEAAAAARRRRRRSSSSSSS! But you can't do this for me. I've been really busy with school. So I haven't been on much (computer and eating wise). I haven't been feeling well, so I haven't been eating a lot lately, haha it takes a cold. I've been trying not to eat everything on my plate...because I've had this strange thing in my head, I bought it must eat it all. But it feels nice not getting up from the table feeling so full and gross. I'm trying to eat smaller portions. I haven't read botzz yet, but this week I'm on break, going to NC to see my sis so I'll have a little down time.

I've got so much out of order I don't know where to begin. It's not just the food thing. I've recently realized all my issues: health, finances, spiritual...are all emotionally based. I get overwhelmed with the state of my life. So eat. That's my friend, that's my comfort, that's my answer. I'm not saying it's right. I'm saying I just realized it.

I'm really unhappy. And I realize that life is short and I don't want to look back on it and not be able to remember ever enjoying any of it. That would suck so bad.

I'm drinking lots and lots of water. I'm trying to cut my portions. I'm still eating candy. But I'm trying to limit the amount. I may do the daniel's fast in april, coz i need to detox I think.

So, I am alive. I'm twitching, but I'm alive.

Thank you and all my sparkpeople for the love and support that you so generously give. I pray all your goals are met and it exceeds your expectations....and shopping sprees for everyone!
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    I'm glad to you are back!! When you blog about the things that are going on in your life, it does help to put it perspective.

    You know what you need to do and how to do it. We are here to support and encourage you!! And don't worry you are not alone. We are all struggling to make good choices!!
    4435 days ago
    Drinking water is so important!!! Keep up the good work!
    4436 days ago
  • BIGGIRL2082010
    And YEAH, Trizia, CONGRATULATIONS on staying focused, drinking lots of water, cutting back on portion sizes. I was also brought up to "clean my plate" - living in India, we SAW the poverty right outside our door every day!

    But, you're doing this for YOU! I promise, if you stick with the small changes, in 6 months, you will see an appreciable difference in your health and your general perception of life!

    Keep it UP! You ARE doing it!

    Big hugs,

    4437 days ago
  • BIGGIRL2082010
    Girlie, you need to give yourself permission to let the past GO.

    Okay, you've made some bad choices. Maybe MANY bad choices. But today (and every day) is a new day. Pick ONE thing you WILL be successful at today, and do THAT one thing. Add to it tomorrow. If you have a mis-step, learn from it - what caused the detour, why did you succumb to temptation? Then put it aside and move on.

    You are worth every second that you invest in yourself - school, work, food choices, exercise choices, even just spending some time on meditation!

    MAKE the time for yourself! We love ya, and we're gonna be pushing your buttons! :) I may not be able to do it FOR you, but I'm good at making you mad enough TO do it for yourself! :D


    4437 days ago
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    Disclaimer: Weight loss results will vary from person to person. No individual result should be seen as a typical result of following the SparkPeople program.

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