Friday, March 13, 2009
LOL, Maya you are amazing. I bet you wouldn't believe I've wanted someone like you in my life for YEEEEAAAAARRRRRRSSSSSSS! But you can't do this for me. I've been really busy with school. So I haven't been on much (computer and eating wise). I haven't been feeling well, so I haven't been eating a lot lately, haha it takes a cold. I've been trying not to eat everything on my plate...because I've had this strange thing in my head, I bought it must eat it all. But it feels nice not getting up from the table feeling so full and gross. I'm trying to eat smaller portions. I haven't read botzz yet, but this week I'm on break, going to NC to see my sis so I'll have a little down time.
I've got so much out of order I don't know where to begin. It's not just the food thing. I've recently realized all my issues: health, finances, spiritual...are all emotionally based. I get overwhelmed with the state of my life. So eat. That's my friend, that's my comfort, that's my answer. I'm not saying it's right. I'm saying I just realized it.
I'm really unhappy. And I realize that life is short and I don't want to look back on it and not be able to remember ever enjoying any of it. That would suck so bad.
I'm drinking lots and lots of water. I'm trying to cut my portions. I'm still eating candy. But I'm trying to limit the amount. I may do the daniel's fast in april, coz i need to detox I think.
So, I am alive. I'm twitching, but I'm alive.
Thank you and all my sparkpeople for the love and support that you so generously give. I pray all your goals are met and it exceeds your expectations....and shopping sprees for everyone!