Not doing so well.....
Thursday, February 26, 2009
I'm feeling really sick
and upset with myself. I am at work right now and went to the copier and saw that evil thing called the
scale that I haven't been on for about -3 weeks. Well I stepped onto the scale expecting to see no change but instead I saw that I had gained 10lbs...You're not hearing me TEN POUNDS a new born baby has attached itself to my behind. I just thought it would be no change; the same weight but instead I received a shocker. I'm totally depress now
and upset with myself because I know what to do to get into shape since I've done this before and lost 72lbs. It's like my brain is talking (don't eat that ...do 15 mins of exercise) but I'm not listening. I just can't seem to get it going I am on this site and pay 40 bucks to W8 Watchers every month. Probably does not help that I haven't been to a meeting in a whole year. Thought I could do it alone...
I hate being the fat girl and having men look at me like I know she wants me since she's fat and can't get anybody else. "I'M FAT NOT UGLY and
BLIND!!!!" Is what I want to scream. I'm
I'm babbling ...I just can't believe what is happening. This time last year I was wearing a size 14 now it's a 18 one year later. All I can do now is cry
. How did I let myself get this way.