Not doing so well.....

Thursday, February 26, 2009

I'm feeling really sick emoticon and upset with myself. I am at work right now and went to the copier and saw that evil thing called the emoticonscale that I haven't been on for about -3 weeks. Well I stepped onto the scale expecting to see no change but instead I saw that I had gained 10lbs...You're not hearing me TEN POUNDS a new born baby has attached itself to my behind. I just thought it would be no change; the same weight but instead I received a shocker. I'm totally depress now emoticon and upset with myself because I know what to do to get into shape since I've done this before and lost 72lbs. It's like my brain is talking (don't eat that ...do 15 mins of exercise) but I'm not listening. I just can't seem to get it going I am on this site and pay 40 bucks to W8 Watchers every month. Probably does not help that I haven't been to a meeting in a whole year. Thought I could do it alone...


I hate being the fat girl and having men look at me like I know she wants me since she's fat and can't get anybody else. "I'M FAT NOT UGLY and emoticonBLIND!!!!" Is what I want to scream. I'm emoticon I'm babbling ...I just can't believe what is happening. This time last year I was wearing a size 14 now it's a 18 one year later. All I can do now is cry emoticon. How did I let myself get this way. emoticon
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    Nobie, you got this girl. Let go of yesterday, and get started where you are.
    4432 days ago
    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon
    ARPIETRZAK emoticon ,HEALTHY-G.G.09 emoticon ,LORIKB emoticon ,THESOMETIMESGR emoticon , ,HLBOONE, emoticon and CAPECODDIN emoticon .

    It is extremely hard for me to let anyone know how I am feeling or doing I keep most things inside unless it starts to show and than my friends will ask whats wrong. So this was hard for me to do but I need to stop lying to myself and treating things(issues) like dirty lil secrets because it's not helping me grow as a person.It took me all weekend to sop having a pity party and to snap out of it. I knew dag gone it I needed help...lol "that was hard" but it's true I can't do this alone. Now don't get me wrong I know that only I can loose the weight but like my mother always said that it take a village to raise a child well village (spark f friends) here I am. I appreciate everyone throwing out their life preservers and golden lasso to help me when you heard my cries for help. YOU ARE ALL TRULY A BLESSING. emoticon

    Zenobia aka Zoe

    4453 days ago
    I felt like I was reading my own blog for a minute, however I wasn't actually brave enough to blog!! I keep hearing those "stinking excuses" in my head!! I feel for you but you've done it before, so have I and we can do it again!! Maybe if we truly take one day at a time.
    4455 days ago

    Comment edited on: 2/27/2009 3:45:13 PM
    There are no secrets to success. It is the result of preparation, hard work, and learning from failure. - Colin Powell

    The first step toward success is taken when you refuse to be a captive of the environment in which you first find yourself. - Mark Caine

    I thought you might be able to draw on these two Quotes to help you through this stumble!
    Try not to let these 10lbs control you motivation to regain control!! I know you have it in you... one step at a time!!! emoticon Spark love
    4455 days ago

    Comment edited on: 2/27/2009 3:43:21 PM
    You just need to start again, don't think about the past now, think about tomorrow and how you are going to get that baby off your butt, and lose that 10 pounds and more.
    4456 days ago
    Strive for progress, not perfection. Have you been breathing easier? Sleeping better? Feeling like you're a little bit more in control of your life? If so, then what you are doing is working.

    I've done it before, too, and lost 70 lbs. Remember how hard that was? It was murder for me, but I only remember that part if I try to remember. It's easy to remember how I started to *like* shopping after I could fit into sizes at a normal store! I ate salads for breakfast and went to the gym every day and I was sore and miserable but DAMN all of a sudden it starts to happen.

    On a practical note, are you recording what you eat? It does take some time, but it's really worth it to be able to start seeing your own patterns.
    4456 days ago
    Honey, I am right there with you!!!! Reading your blog was like reading my life's story. (Are you stalking me? Hehehe) I understand every word you wrote. WE CAN DO THIS! I'm trying to live by the motto that "I will not be defined by my weight, but what's inside" I know, easier said than done. Hang in there. Shoot me a note or msg anytime you are feeling depressed.
    4456 days ago
    Hey there... STOP those negative thoughts right now! You are a beautiful person, inside and out. Today is the first day to move in the direction of healthy living.. NOT DIETING!!! Okay so you've gained some weight, at least you caught it before it was 15 or 20.... we've all been there... and now is the time to make a plan for the future so it doesn't happen again... thank goodness you even made the effort to get on the scale.. that in itself is a huge positive step. Just think, how you'll be feeling 6 months from now... you'll have the energy and stamina of a 25 year old!! Come on... STOP the sob story... YOU can and WILL do this.. one baby step at a time.... I believe in you!!!!

    Now go to my page and click on my friend "bakedstuff"... check out her blogs and her story... she is quite an inspiration... leave her a note and tell her I sent you... you'll want to check her page every day, the words and inspiration and determination you will get from him is unbelievable! I have printed out numerous copies of her blog to carry with me to keep from falling....

    Get your Head Up and put a smile on your face... crying does not good at this point...

    keep in touch!!!
    4456 days ago
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