Saturday, February 21, 2009

On the wagon but on the edge hanging by a wing and a prayer. The past couple of weeks have been very discouraging for me and the fact that I'm discouraged is discouraging me even more. I'm in a funk and cant seem to get out of it. I had the flu and wasn't able to go to the gym for a week. I was so bummed. I have heard that for every day you miss you are set back two. Getting past that 1 - 2 ratio is not easy. It has been tough getting my endurance back especially with strength training but I'm working on it.

Cant seem to shake the funks. I have been asking myself over and over what have I done wrong that would cause the funks. My energy is gone, I'm tired all the time, motivation is in low gear, emotional eating is in high gear chowing down anything with sugar and tons of carbs. On top of that I have added in the "Girl Scout Diet" diet. Needless to say my staying within my target calorie range has been hosed. UGHHHHHH I have to figure this out soon. If I don't, I'm afraid that I will give up.

So today I sat down and began asking myself these questions:
Do I need to change my workout routine? Do I set smaller short term goals instead of reaching for the whole pie? Do I re-evaluate my meal planning? Should I take a step back from trying to be everything for everyone and focus on my needs? Do I stop working out with my sister in law and letting her dictate the type of workouts we do, when we workout, how we workout? How do I stop eating food with sugar? How do I get myself to drink more water?
Do I limit my Sparking to 2 or 3 teams that I can participate and not feel a crunch for time? How do I learn to believe that I can do this?

I have spent the last couple of days thinking about what changes I can make so I don't let these issues consume me to the point where I want to quit. I've taken a hard look inside myself hoping to find my motivation, inspiration, and determination once again emoticon. Believing in myself has not been one of my strong points. This will be a challenge.

After much thought and soul searching I have come up with a new game plan. I have made a new playbook with short term goals that I hope I can track on a daily basis while helping me win this game. I need to concentrate on the now and start believing in myself. Being selfish is not who I am but if I'm not then I'm not going to succeed. If I don't succeed then I will always be hanging on the edge of the wagon by a wing and a prayer. I want to succeed for ME! I want to ride IN the wagon!

Here is my new, improved self-centered road map to help me find my way while on this journey:

1. Set up my own workout plan based on my needs and schedule. When I joined the gym I paid for a personal training session and have not done any of the suggested exercises once emoticon emoticon emoticon

2. Track every meal every day emoticon

3. Drink 4 cups of water a day....Increasing up to 8 per day emoticon

4. Go completely sugar free starting one day at a time emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

5. Re-evaluate my Spark Teams and commitments emoticon

6. Do a 10 minute Crunchless Abs video every day emoticon

Monday begins a new week with new goals. I hope that I will be able to renew my motivation, inspiration, and determination so I'm once again riding in the wagon instead of hanging on the edge by a wing and a prayer.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    First off I'd like to say that missing one day does not set you back two. I had some surgeries a few years ago, and back then I was a total exercise OBSESSOR and I was more concerned about missing a few days of exercise than I was the surgery I was going to face. Mind you, I do understand that some people such as myself need to stay on strict schedule because if they give themselves an inch, they take a mile, and each day they don't do it, gets easier to make excuses for the next. However, the body is a miraculous machine, and muscle, believe it or not, retains memory, and my doctor said the six weeks I would need to take off for the surgery, would not make a big impact on my body as long as I restarted AFTER the sugery's six week recovery phase. He was right, as well...he should have been, he's a sports medicine doctor. So, don't fret about that too much, however, you have the right idea making a schedule AND the kind of exercise you WILL do everyday. I found that when I created my own routines, I was better able to keep them going because I wasn't so resistant to DOING them, and actually looked forward to them. I fell off the wagon, and that's why I am where I am today (if you mix in a little personal life emotional drama), but I know what I need to do.
    It sounds like you do too, and I think it's wonderful that you have a plan. It's ALL about having a plan. Having it, and sticking to it like glue. You CAN do this! Don't be so down on yourself. You are not hanging by a wing and a prayer. You are merely in soul-searching purgatory. Do what you need to do for you, and don't let ANYONE stop you, including yourself. You are funny, you are warm, you are beautiful, and you are a STRONG woman. Don't let ANYONE make you feel any less than that. emoticon
    3322 days ago
    I really enjoyed your blog but I was also saddened by how you are feeling as I have been where you are..many times myself. It is very hard to get out of a funk that seems to be so deep. But YOU CAN and YOU WILL. I have read all the other comments and totally agree with every one and they were all said beautifully...with deep compassion and understanding. Only thing else I can offer is to look inward to your spirit. You have the desire to be the best you can be. I had to down size my Sparks teams as I was trying to join in with too many teams and it was too much. I couldn`t really connect with anyone long enough to feel the encouragement that I needed. I am on 2 teams at the moment and found it was best for ME. I love "Munchie Cheaters" as this is what I do...I reach for the wrong cals and expect my body adjust to what I feed it. So this team is perfect for me and Pammy is a wonderful team leader. I also have joined BLC9 (Biggest Losers Challenge) and it is very encouraging and challenges myself by teams within team support. By downsizing, I have been able to get more one on one. Do your workout for yourself..the way YOU want will be much more satisfied. Your sugar binge may play a VERY huge part in your funk. Go off the sugar (cold turkey) change your workout routine and I am willing to bet you will begin to "see the light". Blessings to you. Callie
    YOU CAN DO IT!!!!
    3340 days ago
    I just got around to reading your most recent blog post. I know exactly what you mean about being in a funk. Man it is a big one to pull yourself out of.
    There is one thing that I want to offer as an encouragement. There is a BIG difference in taking care of your self and being selfish. Dr. Phil has a great CD out on this. He says that if he doesn't take care of himself, then he can't take care of the people that matter the most in His life. If he is unhappy because he is not tending to his own garden, than how can he really preach to others about being happy? Remember there is a difference between Selfishness and Self-Care.
    I'm glad you're snapping out of it and that you're my buddy so that we can SNAP each other out it. Weeeeeee Ha!
    3341 days ago
    You've done yourself a service by examining the funks. Working out on your terms and adding the water are great first steps. Don't beat yourself up when you stumble--it's inevitable and HUMAN!

    I might suggest you think of some short term rewards you could give yourself, like one week. It doesn't have to be something big or expensive, just an acknowledgment that you've met your goals for a week at a time. It could be as simple as a special tea or coffee you like and 15 minutes to sit down and enjoy it.

    We're behind you, Tarah!
    3342 days ago
  • ANGELME28613
    emoticon Sounds Like A Great Plan Tarah! I love the way you wrote it out. I think everyone needs to make a Planned Goal Schdule like this. Sounds like your on your way to Success. I'm so glad you shared this. It is Very helpful.

    emoticon emoticon emoticon
    3343 days ago
    I like your plan Tarah! Sounds doable and You Centered.

    Stop beating yourself up-you had a set back-let it go.

    I hopped on the binge wagon this past week myself-due to extended family issues totally outta my control-but I so needed to medicate with food-blah. It is a NEW DAY and a new week.

    Plus Feb is such a bleck month here-March will be here in a week and the crocuses - tulips and daffodils will be poking their heads up at us!

    You know whatever you decide about your teams I will be in touch with you-rooting for your success. You can do this-

    We are doing a March Madness at SASS-to encourage whatever monthly goal one wants to achieve - feel welcome to join it.

    Stay in touch with your pals when you feel funky...we are almost as good as a shower for freshening up!
    3343 days ago

    Comment edited on: 2/23/2009 12:07:53 PM
  • JENSINE449
    Hang in there my friend! You're not alone. emoticon There is freedom from this thing, I promise! One day at a time is EXACTLY right.
    3344 days ago
  • DINA:-)
    i loved your blog! i was so impressed with your commitment- that you realized what was going wrong and took action to fix it! you have set some great goals and i hope you reward yourself when you accomplish them!
    3344 days ago
    Well done on focusing and working out a new way of dealing with things. More importantly though, accept - taking care of yourself is NOT being selfish.

    Bright blessings.
    3344 days ago
  • CLEWIS0607
    First of all, let me just say that I would be glad to join you in that prayer! Sometimes that is all it takes...thinking that you are at your wits end and finally giving it all to God. I felt that same way before I finally got my motivation almost 2 months ago. Somewhere in me I wanted to take this journey but I could never get everything to line up. My motivation would be there but not my will power or vice versa. I would try only working out but not eating better or vice versa. Then one day I gave in. I stopped fighting myself, and gave in to the process. Embraced it. I think you are on the right track reevaluating your priorities. Don't be afraid to be selfish! You shouldn't feel guilty for meeting your own needs. I wish you the BEST and will be praying for you as you go into this new week. emoticon emoticon
    3344 days ago
    You have done a great job of dealing with your problem in a productive manner. It is so easy to just fall off the wagon but your determination is very inspiring.
    3344 days ago
    I think your new game plan has some really positive changes. You sound motivated to make this work and you CAN!!! emoticon
    3344 days ago
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