Sunday, February 08, 2009
I've been spending some time this weekend seriously looking at why I've been sabotaging my efforts to be healthy. I start out fine and by the end of the week or the end of the day, I've blown it. Here are some of the things I've noticed that need fixed and some solutions.
1) As much as I like my new job, I need to start working from 8:30 to 5:00 and that's it. No more going in early, no more staying late. I need to start taking my lunch so I pay attention to what I'm eating and get satisfaction from it. Or maybe take a walk. And I need to stop wearing myself out trying to get everything done. Learn to pace myself.
2) I need to make a new list of Reason Why I Want to Lose Weight and begin reading it again every morning, with feeling. And put a copy of it in my car so I read it on my way home so I will stop feeling frustrated and eating too much as soon as I hit the door. Maybe even put a copy of it on my desk so I can stay motivated throughout the day and remember not to overeat.
3) On my way home I usually talk with my mom who can tend to be down and negative and since my husband is on second shift, sometimes we talk for quite a while. This usually leads to my getting in the door feeling quite tired and defeated and grabbing as much food as I can stuff in my mouth. This can be solved by having my ARC in the car that I read first, and taking the dog for a walk as soon as I get home, so that I get off the phone before very long and the walk will help me stay moving.
4) I want to work on not saying "I'm Tired" because it just makes me feel more tired. Especially when I'm talking with my mom because she proceeds to tell me how I'm doing too much and I should just sit down and relax. It puts me in a "slug" state of mind. I need to start talking more positively in general.
5) I want to work on my schedule more so I'm staying on track with the things I want and need to do instead of wasting time. I also want to schedule out my meals so there is no time or calories wasted because of being unsure of what to eat or do.
6) I'm also going to stop trying to wait up for my hubby. I fall asleep anyway but I'm not getting good sleep. I'm going to bed at 10:00 so I can get up at 5.
Another thing that I've realized is how simple statements that other people make can greatly affect you. Some examples:
When I told my dad that I've lost 40 pounds he said "your hubby must not be able to keep his hands off of you!" This messed me up because hubby hasn't been anymore demonstrative that he was before. So I think I felt like "why not gain weight so you can pretend that's why." When it's probably because he's depressed and has nothing to do with me.
Another time I was talking with my dad I told him I don't like to eat sweet or greasy foods, and he said "that'll come back!" So now I've fallen right back into my old habits, so I guess it did. Although I don't really enjoy eating it, so why don't I stop!?!
So now that I've psychoanalyzed myself and seen some places where I've been messing up, I'm ready to get serious about this again!