Week 5: The Trade Off
Saturday, February 07, 2009
Prepare for a confession....
This week was the start of my student teaching day count. We are required to teach at least 30 days per assignment between now and graduation. To start off all of this fun, we had seminars Monday and Thursday. Most of the seminar was talking about our fears going into our next big life change and what was to come when we get out in the real world. We also went through the mountains of paper work we will have to complete to get an A. I am making it a goal to not procrastinate on this and to strive to make the best portfolio possible.
Teaching real kids in a real classroom honestly does not scare me like it does with the other student teachers. But I unfortunatly have a professor who does everything in her power to ride your insecurities. For the most part, I brush them off, but she really laid one on me the other day. I missed ONE NOTE and she said, "I really fear for your kids' education if you cant play that lick." That killed me. I am not one to take other's negative words lightly. I cant brush things off, especially ones coming from professors whom I respect and admire.
And it has been done hill ever since. I've been stress eating. I know. That night, I whipped out a bag of popcorn to eat by myself (my biggest food weakness). I broke my rule of no fast food on weekdays and ordered a cheese dog with cheese fries. And I eat way toooooo many chips and salsa when I went out with my friends on Saturday.
It's actually ironic because just on Monday I was going through sparkpages and thinking about how many depressed people I saw. I dont really think I am much of a stress or emotional eater out of context so it is hard for me to relate with those who use food to get over sorrow. Also, working out are my natural anti-depressants and my sedatives. I couldn't understand why anyone would feel any differently.
But I guess I learned my lesson. So Sparkpeople, I am admitting that I, MCLA, drowned my sorrows in at least three servings of nachos with salsa and two very sugary margaritas. I also depressed the bad vibes of a selfish and bitchy professor with microwave popcorn.
And I paid for it all when I weighed in. Earlier this week, I had lost 3lbs, but when I stepped on the scale today, I had only lost 1lb from last week's weigh in. I realize that my weight will fulctuate and that I cant expect big results like I did earlier on, but that number killed me after I had expected a 167 weigh in and came up with 169.
But, on a happier note... three people mentioned that I looked differently. A fellow student said that I looked older because my face was leaner (didn't know I am dieting) and my supervising teacher remarked that my "guns looked bigger" (refering to my arms if you dont get that joke). But most importantly, my boyfriend told me this morning that I felt smaller. That put the biggest smile on my face!
A recap of this week:
*Pounds lost: 1
*Pounds lost so far: 14
*Current weight: 169
- Weight loss does not make a happier person.
- Take advantage of free time and good weather. You may never know when you will get both again!
- Falling through the cracks doesn't make you a loser. Not getting back up, does.
- Take the compliments as they come and value them over the negatives.