Sunday, February 01, 2009
This is me, doing what I do. Accountable until I don't want to be anymore-this thing swept over me again, causing this shameless laziness and then paralyzing self-pity that only allows enough mobility to get the junk to my lips, chew, and swallow.
I think it's a stronghold, but I'm still not sure how it works in me. I don't believe in myself. I don't believe in dreams coming true. I don't think I will ever be healthy or pretty or smart or significant. It's the thing talking-I know. Problem is I AGREE with it. I'm not supposed to, none of us are when it comes over us. It's a blanket of failure warming us up to the bed of defeat that it wants us to live in for the rest of our lives and I KNOW THIS...but I'm rolling over for the nap.
I don't post threads coz I don't wanna waiste people's time. I have no motivation or desire to do what it takes, because seriously, I feel like it's too late. I know somebody will say your still so young, blah blah blah-I don't know. I'm fine until I'm not and instead of progress being made and then the sabotage we just went right to the sabotage.
My thinking isn't right.