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twenty thousand days younger than me..

Tuesday, January 27, 2009

i missed a blog yesterday due to talking on the phone with my sister and r.'s sister.
so i found out yesterday that i am supposed to watch r.'s nephew today. i had been under the impression that i wasnt supposed to, only friday, but that's fine.
so i got up this morning at six am, got in 45 minutes worth of ms. leslie, and r.'s sister called to cancel since one of their kids is sick and has to stay home from school, so her husband will be staying home too.
now, i am all showered, have 45 minutes under my belt and its barely 8 am.
i hope this means i will have a great day.

i want to thank everyone for nominating me as a spark people motivator. that means a great deal to me, and i cant even believe it. i actually almost deleted the email instead of reading it, and i would never have known.
that means so much to me... i cant even express how much it means to me.
before i do sit here and cry, i am going to move along...

okay, this is what i wanted to write about last night but then r. and i played boggle and skip bo. (i got my butt handed to me but good at boggle, but won at skip bo.. id rather have won at boggle since skip bo is a game of chance. the loss i suffered was horrible horrible, too. and im not gonna mention the fact that i did go to school for a minor in english)

so i talked to the sister last night and she had to go to the kid's dad's house where joey was in order to take care of an issue. the issue? jo had thrown a fit over not getting two dinners. he had eaten at his ma's house and went to his dad's and wanted to eat there, too. when he was told no, a huge fit ensued and it was apparently bad enough for the dad to call my sister to come and deal with it.

i just dont know how to help my nephews. and whats more, i think r. is right and we need to be more worried about jonas than bird. bird has always been chubby but he is the more active one, i am now realizing. that kid is always on the go. i worry about him more simply because of the orange hair and freckles. and the fact that he hides and sneaks food.
but ive never seen bird throw a huge fit over food.
i know that bird also wants to be more healthy, and he is trying portion control by himself, he told me last time he was here.

i do know that jonas is embarrassed of his body though..
its a circle. i cant help them.. i dont even know how to begin. i made my sister a list of foods i eat, i made her a recipe book, i wrote out lists of fruits and veggies the kids could try, to make it like a game or something. im just at a loss.
but im not giving up.
i am going to copy recipes from my taste of home healthy cooking magazine, and try to convince her that if she cooks and freezes stuff it will be easier for everyone.
and, if i have to, i will go up there and clean out her freezer because i know she will say she doesnt have room. (she does)

i know its not my place and i know i cant fix everyone. but this isnt a man i am trying to fix, it is my nephews. i am scared of the road they are headed down and i need to just park my fat butt in the middle of that road somehow to block them from coming down to where i have been.
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  • JBMT08
    Hey Missy,
    I am glad that everyone else knows what I have already are a MOTIVATOR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YEAY! good for you on your day! you are doing excellent!
    3368 days ago
    That's so true about not wanting the people we care about go down the same road. I wish I knew the secret. I would tell you right now! I hope you can convince your sis to do the healthy thing for the nephews. I know you would go down there and empty her freezer too! Ha! If it comes down to that, she's lucky to have someone who cares so much. And you know, we all have to make our own choices. As stinky as it is, to watch your nephews live and make mistakes you could've helped them avoid. That's life. I truly truly hope they don't have to suffer through being overweight most of their lives.
    So glad that you had 45 min of workout done all before 8 AM! I'm on cloud nine when I'm actually able to do that, which isn't often ;)
    Congrats on getting SP Motivator! You are a huge amazing inspiration and I'm so glad other people besides me see it.
    So much to think about, and I know your heart's probably pretty bogged down worrying about those little boys, but I hope you can see how much your example has helped them already.

    3368 days ago
    "how do I help them not eat those things?"

    That is the question, all right!
    I wish I knew that answer -- maybe I could help myself then.
    I didn't even see the whole show so I don't know what advice was given to the teens and their families at the intervention.
    Maybe there is more on the web site.
    But I know that you can relate and you can talk about your own feelings with them without putting them on the spot.
    You can say things like, "I had a bad day and I just wanted to eat all the ice cream in the house to feel better -- but I didn't do it because I knew the next day I would feel so much worse."
    Or, "I ate it only because I was angry and then..."
    Or when they eat with you and you fill up on the healthy food and still have a taste of the high-cal stuff but just an appropriate portion, you show how to keep things in balance.
    You are living an example for them. You celebrate with them and eat pizza and then you stop. They see that.
    I think talking about your own wisdom that food doesn't solve anything except hungry... and keep writing those little notes that you believe in them... is the best you can do.
    I know brain chemical imbalances are significant in all of these things, especially for joey, and so we do the best we can for those we love... and leave the rest to God, I suppose.

    3368 days ago
    congrats, Miss Motivator. Well done, yourself!! So richly deserved.
    I caught a bit of Oprah yesterday as I was waiting to start work. She did an intervention show with drastically overweight teenagers. Oh, my gosh! It was so emotional.
    Horribly emotional!
    I felt very fat in high school at 136! And so I know my sense of self-image is very warped.
    Oprah says, "It is not what you are eating. It's what is eating you?"
    And the last few days I've been thinking about the resentments I held as a child, as the only fat child in five siblings, as the one whose eating was monitored and curtailed and criticized. I resented my brother who was oldest and the only boy and I was sure he got favoured treatment. He also could eat ten times my servings and be very skinny. (He later apologized for the teasing and the damage he may have done to my self-esteem but really what bothered me was he could eat six weiners at the campfire and no one said boo. When I had my second, someone would say... don't you think you've had enough?)
    I don't think kids should ever diet.
    I think they should be taught how good it feels to eat good foods. And there should be certain foods that are unlimited. Piles of apples or celery or carrot sticks.
    "Sorry, the biscuits are all gone but have an apple if you are hungry." (In some homes, all food is limited economically but then fairness of serving sizes becomes even more important.)
    I would have been so incensed if everyone was sitting down to eat and I couldn't because I was fat, ie faulty, ie not as good as everyone else.
    The emotional side of weight is very complex. And I think some of us start out genetically big or genetically too hungry and the emotional distortions get added on later.
    Ooops, I am ranting! Writing my blog on your comment space.
    Sorry --- I am obviously deeply disturbed and out of control!

    emoticon emoticon emoticon
    3368 days ago

    Comment edited on: 1/27/2009 4:57:34 PM
  • KIWI122
    Congratulations--you are an incredible motivator!! You deserve Motivator have made a real difference in my perception of this whole experience. I know you are impacting others, too. Thank you for the inpiration and the realness you put into each and every blog. I look forward to your writings because you tell it like it is and you persevere. emoticon emoticon emoticon
    3368 days ago
    I am sooo happy that you got the Motivator status! Soooo soo happy because you truly do motivate people by just being honest and being yourself!

    And with your nephews, I know that must be so frustrating! You are doing a great job by letting them and their mom know that you care. The decision has to essentially be on their end, but if you keep letting them know how much you care, and how to do things, maybe it will breakthrough one day. I hope that things do start to get better, there, because it is so important for children to learn how to eat right.

    Keep doing what you are doing and you will hopefully motivate them the same way you motivate us!!!
    3369 days ago
  • SUZY6281
    Congratulations on getting Motivator status!! You totally deserve it!!

    As for your nephews, I think the best thing they have is the example that you are showing them. They look up to you and are watching you. I bet it won't be long until they start asking you questions. Teaching the mom to take control I don't think is going to work. Not if she isn't asking for the help. Unfortunately, you cannot force someone to eat healthy. They have to want to do it on their own.

    Be patient. Your example is shining through.

    3369 days ago
    You've provided the tools, your sister has the knowledge, your determination & commitment a positive influence. Unfortunately, we cannot force anyone to change their eating habits. Hopefully, you will be able to convince her for the sake of the children. Maybe, everyone should sit down together and talk openly how the CHANGE.

    Have you printed out your PEOPLE MOTIVATOR email to post in your home? How incredibly motivating!!! Congratulations!
    3369 days ago
    Your nephews are so lucky to have you in their lives. I think you're doing the right thing.

    emoticon Congrats on being a motivator. You truly are a great influence on all of us.
    3369 days ago
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