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DH's New Diet that Really Works! (You've gotta read his story!)

Monday, January 26, 2009

Yesterday I was buying a large bag of Purina dog chow at Wal-Mart, for my dog Athena, the wonder dog. I was about to check out when a woman behind me asked if I had a dog. What did she think that I had an elephant?

Since I had little else to do, on impulse, I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, and that I was starting the Purina Diet again, although I probably shouldn't because I ended up in the hospital last time. On the bright side though, I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of every hole in my body and IVs in both arms.

I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry and that the food is nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again. (I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was enthralled with my story by now.)

Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care because the dog food had poisoned me. I told her no; I had stepped off a curb to PEE on a tire and a car hit me.

I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack, he was laughing so hard!

WAL-MART won't let me shop there anymore.

(Disclaimer - unfortunately, neither DH or myself can claim ownership to this story - but I thot it was just too funny not to share, so - enjoy!
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • 2BFREE2LIVE
    THAT IS WHAT PEOPLE GET FOR BEING NOSEY!!!
    4474 days ago
  • BEADMARIE
    Thanks for the laugh! emoticon
    4485 days ago
  • BGGARDEN
    WOW..... I really thought you were dieting with dog food in the first paragraph. By the last few lines I caught on that it was a joke ..... RIGHT?!! IT was a JOKE ?!

    LOL



    emoticon
    4489 days ago
  • DARKLING56
    HAHAHAHAHA........Loved it!
    4490 days ago
  • JURORI
    That's horrible and hilarious and awesome. XD I would have been one of those enthralled people going "Is she serious?" Though at the same time, I get irked at people who ask inane questions like that too, so I can sympathize with coming up with that sort of story. Thanks for sharing!
    4490 days ago
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