Wind Me Up
Sunday, January 25, 2009
You ever been so down in the dumps you didn’t want to do anything? That’s the way I’ve been the last few days. Now that I’m better, I can only reflect back on what it was like while I suffered through it. “Suffering through it,” that phrase makes it sound more exciting than it really is. Excitement, that’s part of the problem with that state of mind. It wasn’t exciting at all; in fact it was drudgery, boring everyday blah. It wasn’t a total waste of my time though. I did come to the realization that this was exactly the state of mindless boredom, that I would binge in order to suppress in the past. This state of nothingness is so uncomfortable that I would use rather copious amounts of food to mask; push down or otherwise obliterate any such feelings. “Feelings,” that makes it sound too dramatic. That’s part of the problem with that state of mind. There is no passion in it at all; it was drudgery, boring everyday blah. I needed something to wind me up. So I begrudgingly put in an exercise video and mindlessly followed the steps halfheartedly for a while. But somewhere around ¾’s of the way through the tape the moderator warned us we were about go into, “low intensity and high energy at its best.” I chuckled to myself sadistically, "not the way I'm doing it honey." Boy was I wrong. Low and behold, as much as I wanted to continue hating life, I just couldn’t do it anymore I was too preoccupied. This session was so intense and, dare I say, exhilarating that it just took over. It had a life and momentum all its own, and it's a good thing too because I didn't have any to lend it. After a good sweat I took a nice hot bath and came out of it singing. Wow! What a difference some momentum makes.