Well, it's one week exactly since the big ker-plop ... and I ran tonight. I have to say, it was one of the best runs I've done lately. Last Thursday I pounded out 13 km, but that was sadness propelling me, not joy. Tonight was one of those more rare, lovely, joy-filled experiences.
It's a bit cool, but the stars were shining so brightly I thought I could touch 'em. Had great tunes filling my ears, and I am sure I sang out loud more than once. At least, that's how I interpret the dog that startled and ran off into a field, and the perambulating elderly couple whose alarmed expressions told me more than I wanted to know.
So Tuesday, I start my first-ever running clinic. My dear friend Shine got me in to this; it'll be the first time I've run with a group of women. I think it will be FUN! I've been running for years, and I've got 4 Half Marathons under my (variously sized) belt, as well as numerous 10 Ks. I've always trained on my own, and I think it will be great to experience comeraderie on the path.
So on the application form it asked what my PB ("personal best") time is for the 10Km. Well, truthfully, when I was 20, like 100 years ago, it was 42 minutes. Man. That was fast. That's 7-minute MILES. But truth is, now it's more like 60. That's 10-minute miles.
Here's the thing: I can mourn what I can no longer do, or I can rejoice that I am still able to run, at whatever speed that looks like, and enjoy the journey. I think that's applicable to all of life. We get so caught up in what we USED to be, that we fail to become who we CAN and SHOULD be. I can run for years and years; it just won't be a 42-minute 10 K. That's OK. I'm in it for the long haul, a tortoise, not a hare .... and you know what they say, "hare today, gone tomorrow." (Go ahead, groan. You know you wanna, and it will probably burn 2 calories.)
Point is, I'm still developing who I can and should be: and my journey is full of friends and family who love me, regardless of who I was. They care about who I am, and helping me become who I should be. Thanks for sticking with me ....
See ya later. Off to the studio to learn more Gay Gordons. Don't ask. (OK, it involves a Robbie Burns dinner at which we are performing on Sunday night. I have my Dress Stewart sash ready to go ... worn, as the lady at the Scottish Tartan store told me, "on the right shoulder, dearrrr, because women are always rrrrrright." Seems I won't have trouble remembering that.)